


You Wouldn't Believe the Dream I Just Had About You & Me

by larryatendoftheday



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Excessive Drinking, Friends to Lovers, Halloween, M/M, Marijuana, Memory Loss, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mpreg, OT5, One Night Stands, Panic Attacks, Past Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles, Pregnant Harry, References to ABBA, Slow Burn, Smut Obviously, Unplanned Pregnancy, all family members are alive in this story, content warnings for, footie!louis, just one in chapter 3, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-25 19:48:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 21,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20729786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larryatendoftheday/pseuds/larryatendoftheday
Summary: After a back-to-school bash and a few too many drinks, Harry finds himself pregnant from a one-night stand he doesn’t remember. His best friend Louis is the only one who knows about the baby. Together they try to find the father of Harry’s baby, but they keep looking in all the wrong places.Or the slowburn, friends to lovers, mpreg, college au you’ve always wanted. Featuring side Ziam and Clifford.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Despite reading literally thousands of fics and doing a lot of other creative writing, this is my very first completed fic. I couldn’t be more proud or excited to share it with all of you. 
> 
> Thank you to my absolutely amazing beta reader and editor @userkant for helping me get to this point! She likes to say we make a good team, and I agree. :) Also thank you to whoever submitted this prompt!
> 
> The title comes from Fun’s song “Some Nights.” You can listen to [this fic’s playlist on Spotify](https://tinyurl.com/y45srlvh).
> 
> [Reblog the fic post on Tumblr](https://larryatendoftheday.tumblr.com/post/187985956296/mammamia).
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Let me know your favorite parts in the comments.

Sun slunk through the cracks in the shades and the house creaked. Harry rubbed the sleep from his eyes, yawning, as he rolled out of bed and slipped into his joggers and trainers. His feet hit the pavement outside with a satisfying rhythm. Frost clung to the grass. It was one of those fall days that started cold and would warm up by noon; he reminded himself to wear layers for class today.

The neighborhood slowly came to life around him as he jogged. He and his best mates had rented out a house a few blocks from campus, and he loved being able to leave school behind at the end of the day. He also loved being around real people, not just college kids and professors. He watched a little girl carefully balance her lunch bag on the handlebars of her bike before sailing past Harry, pigtails fluttering. He needed the reminder that there was life outside college.

He did his customary greeting to Sharon, the older woman who sat on her porch with her tea each morning, and the terrier who was usually roaming a corner yard, and soon was closing in on his house again. He slowed his strides, breathing heavily. When he walked onto the driveway he stretched down to his toes, did a few lunges, and picked up the newspaper. He was the only one of his housemates who pretended to care about the local news, so it was a bit of waste to order, but he loved having a hard copy on the table. It was all part of the morning ritual.

Harry stepped inside, shucking off his shoes and sing-songing, “Good morning!” He knew the boys were in the kitchen as usual; Niall would be frying eggs, Liam would be singing under his breath while scrubbing dishes, and Louis would be lounging somewhere inconvenient, probably sprawled on the floor to talk to the dog. He was just about to launch into a monologue about what a beautiful fall day it was when his stomach abruptly curdled.

_What was that smell?_ He lurched into the bathroom as bile rose in his throat. _Shit._ He knelt and pressed his cheek against the cool porcelain of the toilet as his head spun. Eventually he could breathe slowly enough to stand up and splash his face with water. He stumbled out of the bathroom only to feel it his stomach turn again, a subtle warning.

Niall’s head popped out from the kitchen, waving a spatula. “You want one egg or two?” At the sight of Harry, ashen and swaying, his smile slipped. “Oi, did you take a longer run today?”

“Nah. Just the usual, but I’m really nauseous. Don’t know why.”

“You okay then?”

“Yeah just gonna go rest before class,” Harry mumbled, already making his way up the stairs. “No eggs. Couldn’t pay me to eat one right now.”

Niall harrumphed at the insult to his cooking. “Alright, alright, no need to be rude.”

Back in his bed, Harry closed his eyes and breathed. The dizziness was fading. Before he knew it, he was fast asleep.

~~~

His time slumped against the toilet had become a new ritual, in place of his morning runs. None of the boys knew that, though, because Harry didn’t want to be a bother. It always passed after a bit. He had cut out dairy this week, which seemed to help at first, but this morning was worse than any before. So much for that.

It was Louis who found Harry on the bathroom floor, sweating, nauseous and only half-aware of his surroundings. Louis, predictably, was very concerned. More so than Harry had the energy to deal with in his current state.

“Oh Haz, what’s going on?” Louis murmured, crouching and holding his palm to Harry’s forehead.

“It’s gonna pass. It’s okay.”

“Everything passes, but you don’t look good.”

“I survived every day so far, Lou.”

“Every day?” Louis asked. Harry refused to answer, instead focusing on cool porcelain against his feverish skin. “Haz, this has been happening every day? For how long?”

There was a long silence as Louis ran his fingers through the sweaty curls on Harry’s forehead, sweeping them back.

“Haz, have you – I mean, could it be –” Louis tripped over the words. He was quiet for a moment, pressing his lips together. “Is there any chance you’re…pregnant?”

Harry didn’t think he could feel sicker, but somehow he did. _Pregnant. _But no, he hadn’t had sex since the summer. He opened his mouth to say that when an unwanted memory bobbed to the surface.

“During welcome week…at the party,” Harry grimaced. “I don’t know who though. I don’t remember it.”

Louis breathed out hard. “Ok. So you might be. Let’s get a test when this passes, okay? And if it’s positive, we will figure the rest out.” Harry whimpered, reeling with the weight of this realization and another wave of dizziness. Louis laid down next to him on the floor, cramped between the toilet and the wall. “I’m right here with you. It’ll all be okay.”

Harry was dully aware of the shadow of dancing tree branches flickering across the rug and Louis’ concerned face. He slipped in and out of the present, flickers of dreams and memories mixing into reality—a girl with pigtails calling him Daddy, a red solo cup in his hand, something warm rubbing his arm. He came to just to retch into the toilet while Louis rubbed his back. “It’ll pass.”

~~~

Louis didn’t say a word about his classes, just stayed with Harry all day, making him food when he finally got up from the floor and then slipped out to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test. Harry knew in his gut. He just knew he was pregnant with a stranger’s baby. The timer dinged, and he turned the stick over with shaking hands.

Louis’ arms wrapped around his waist from behind as they both stared at two little lines. Harry had imagined this moment so many times, but not like this. A sob escaped his throat, and Louis held him, rubbing circles against his waist, and murmured that it would all be okay. “This little one has so many people who love them: the lads and I, your sister, your mom, and the greatest dad. Gonna be so lucky, Hazza.”

Harry was inconsolable, babbling between sobs, “I wanted babies. I wanted so many babies, but first I wanted a pretty house and a person. I want babies with my person.”

Louis listened, wiping away tears with tissues. “Well, you’ve got a few months until this little one comes. Maybe the father is meant to be your person.” He smiled softly. “I haven’t seen _Mamma Mia_, but I know we can find the father and sing some songs.”

Harry chuckled around his tears, swatting at Louis and pulling back. “That’s just a movie, Lou. Besides, they _didn’t_ find the father, and you don’t even know any Abba songs.”

Louis squeezed his shoulder and smiled. “Real life is far wilder than any story, Haz. You never know…I _might_ know some Abba songs.” He winked, and Harry laughed again.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Louis burst into Harry’s room with Abba blaring from his phone. “Rise and shine! It’s time to find your baby daddy!”

Harry lurched up, bleary-eyed. This baby made him so damn tired. He couldn’t believe Louis was up before him. He pressed a finger to his lips and halfheartedly tried to shush him, which Louis took as an invitation to climb over him on the bed and lean down to his ear to whisper, “Time to find your baby daddy.”

“I hate that word.”

Louis’ gaze fell to Harry’s belly as he leaned back. All joking slipped from his tone. He bit his lip before saying, “I can’t wait to meet you,” in an equally hushed tone, and Harry thought he might start crying again on the spot. He wanted to wrap Louis up and never let him go. He settled for announcing his need for a cuddle—it was good for the baby, he reasoned—and Louis obliged. Like always, he smelled like cigarettes and something sweet. Harry sighed contentedly.

From behind him, Louis said softly, “So the night of the back to school party you and someone made this little guy. You said you don’t know who?”

Harry mulled that over for a minute. “I got carried away. I blacked out. I just know I woke up with a sore ass and dried lube on my thighs. That’s how I know I did something.” <strike></strike>

Louis nodded, nose rubbing against Harry’s neck. “What do you remember about the night? Anything.”

“I remember talking to a girl from my stats class. I remember pouring vodka in my cup more than once. I remember thinking we were hosting the best party ever. I remember dancing. I think I fell at one point.”

Louis snorted. “Yeah, you did.”

“Well if you remember the night so well, why don’t _you_ tell me what happened?”

Louis paused. “I wish I could. I blacked out, too. I was trying to match Niall. I should know better by now, but welcome week’s all about getting wild.”

Now it was Harry’s turn to pause. “But you do remember me falling. Is there anything else?”

“Just that we danced together during that one song by the Australian girl.”

“Who the hell—”

“The witchy one.”

“Lorde. You mean Lorde? An icon of our generation?”

“Yeah yeah, probably.”

“She’s from New Zealand.”

“Everyone knows that’s basically Australia!”

Harry gave Louis an unimpressed look then grabbed his phone from where he’d dropped it on the bed and pulled up Spotify. “Okay, I’m gonna play you some songs. Tell me which one it is.”

Thirty minutes and much bickering later, Louis decided it was either ‘Sober’ or ‘Green Light’. Probably.

“As much as I love this music quiz, why do you care again?”

“I think we need to trigger the memories. Come on.” Harry extracted himself from Louis and stood up. “It’s time to party.”

“It’s 8 am, mate.”

“Yep!” Harry agreed cheerfully.

Louis didn’t pretend to understand, but he followed Harry downstairs and into the living room where the DJ had been staged for the party. Harry drew the shades and turned on their speakers. ‘Sober’ thundered through the house. “King and queen of the weekend, not a pill that could touch our rush,” Lorde crooned around the thumping beat.

“How were we dancing?” Harry shouted. Louis didn’t speak, just stepped closer and swayed his shoulders, letting his head loll to the side with his eyes closed. “Like that?” Louis wiggled his eyebrows and shimmied even closer.

Harry tried to move his own body to the rhythm, feeling awkward in the still bright room. It would have been darker then. He would have been drunker. He closed his own eyes and let his mind travel back. Sweat. Fizzy feeling in his veins. A press of bodies, and then…nothing. He opened his eyes again to find Louis staring at him his pink lips parted slightly.

Louis swallowed. “Anything?”

Harry shook his head, “I think—"

“Okay, what the hell.” Liam was standing in the hallway. “Are you two high?”

Niall appeared behind him, brow furrowed. “Yeah, I like to hear my eggs cooking.”

“We all know how much concentration you need to fry an egg, Niall,” Louis piped up, smirking, “but we were performing an experiment. It’s neuroscience, boys, and you have the nerve to question us.”

Harry smiled thinly at Louis. He was protecting his secret. “We’re trying to remember a night lost to the gods of drunken college kids by recreating a moment we do remember.”

“Well, was it here in our living room?” Liam asked.

“’Cause you two haven’t gotten that drunk since welcome week,” Niall supplied helpfully.

“Speak for yourself, mate,” Louis quipped. “Get back to those eggs. I want three today.” He raised his eyebrows in challenge.

“God, I slave away for you, and for what?” Niall cried, a hand draped across forehead dramatically. Liam stared at them a few long seconds more before turning around to join Niall back in the kitchen.

“Thanks, Lou,” Harry whispered. “I’ll have to tell them eventually, but I need a bit more time.”

“Don’t mention it, love,” Lou said with a shrug. “Now let’s go eat. Or are eggs gonna make you sick?”

“Nah, today they sound good.” Harry grabbed Louis’ hand and gave it a squeeze. “Seriously, thank you.”

Louis tugged on his hand and rolled his eyes with a fond smile. “Come on, Curly. Let’s eat.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: a character has a panic attack in this chapter

Harry actually made it to class after breakfast, which he was grateful for. He didn’t like upsetting his teachers. He was blissfully not queasy all day so it was easy to let his predicament fade into the back of his mind. He focused on taking notes, breathing in crisp fall air, and gathering the assignments he’d missed the previous day. It felt like any other day.

That evening he was bent over a desk in the library, staring at a particularly tricky problem on his stats homework. Eventually he gave in and decided to ask for help. He popped open his laptop to scroll through messenger, looking for someone online who was taking stats this semester too. 

His fingers stilled when he saw Perrie Edwards’ name. _Perrie._ He talked to her the night of the party. The night he hooked up with someone and conceived a child. The night he made the biggest mistake of his life.

Harry slammed the computer shut. _Shit. Fuck._ Being trapped in the library suddenly felt intolerable. He shoved his books into his bag and took off as fast as his feet would carry him. The library door slammed behind him. Blood pounded in his ears. He could barely breathe.

Cool night air whipped against his skin and his bag slapped heavy against his back as he broke into a jog. Tears ran down his face. He passed the corner where the terrier greeted him and the porch where his neighbor waved each morning. He hadn’t taken his run in over a week. Everything was already different. In a few months he would show. His clothese wouldn't fit, and everyone would know. In a few more months he would have a child depending on him. Nothing would _ever_ be the same.

His chest felt like it was caving in, like his lungs had collapsed. The ground tilted toward him. He staggered and sank to his knees, pulling in thin, desperate breaths. He pulled his phone out with trembling, clammy hands and dialed the only number he knew by heart.

“Hey!”

“I think…I’m having—a panic—attack,” Harry stuttered out.

“Oh shit.” Gemma’s tone softened, “It’s going to be okay, Harry. This is gonna pass. Breathe while I count. Can you do that?”

“Okay. Yes.” Harry nodded, listening with every bit of willpower he could muster.

His sister’s soft voice started counting. “In, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four.” She counted slowly—again and again. Eventually everything stopped spinning. His limbs were leaden. All the adrenalin had been replaced by fatigue.

“I think…it’s better now, Gem.”

“That’s good. Where are you? Tell me three things you see.”

“Um." Harry slowly registered the world around him. "I’m on the sidewalk in my neighborhood. I see a tree, some grass, and a car.”

“What color is the car?”

“Dark blue.”

“Are you walking?”

“I wasn’t. I think I am going to now.” He pushed up off the sidewalk.

“Good. Why don’t you walk toward home.”

"I can do that."

"I’m going to tell you a story while you walk. Tell me when you get home. Let’s see….” Her voice was gentle in Harry’s ear as he walked, only vaguely hearing the stories about their childhood he had heard so many times before.

“Gem—I’m home.”

“Good. Why don’t you eat something and go to bed early. Does that sound okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Take care of yourself. Call me tomorrow when you feel better, and we can talk through whatever is going on. It’s all gonna be okay, little bro. I promise.” Gemma sounded so sure, and Harry was so exhausted. So he just agreed, and let her say goodnight. He didn’t realize he was still just standing in front of the door with the phone in his hand until it swung open to reveal a perplexed Liam.

“Hey, mate, you forget your keys? You don’t have to just stand outside. You could knock, you know.”

Harry pulled his lips into an approximation of a smile and nodded. Liam grabbed his bag off his shoulders, chattering happily about his day. “I’m gonna sing that song by Bublé you like for open mic, which Zayn thought was cool!” Harry followed him to the kitchen where Liam plopped food onto a plate and into the microwave without breaking the stream of stories. (“We ate earlier.”) When he put the plate in front of Harry, he finally noticed how quiet Harry had been.

“Ya all right? You look…drugged.”

Harry didn’t bother trying to lie. “Panic attack.”

Liam’s eyes widened. It had been years since Harry had one of those. He rubbed Harry’s back with a broad, warm hand. “It’s over now though?” Harry nodded. “Those are absolute hell. Eat some food. It’ll help you feel better.”

So Harry chewed and swallowed, barely tasting anything. Niall came in announcing his dire need for some late-night brownies. Liam shot him a loaded look and suddenly Harry had an Irishman in his lap swallowing him with a firm hug. “Hey, man, it’s okay. You’re so tough.”

Liam wrapped his arms around both of them, leaning his head against Harry’s. “Nialler’s right. You’re a badass, Haz. Everything’s all gonna be okay. We got you.” They, too, were so sure, but they didn’t know what Harry knew.

When he made his way upstairs, Harry could barely keep his eyes open. He slid into his bed and laid a hand between his hip bones. It seemed absurd that the flat stretch of skin concealed a baby. Maybe this was just a dream.

As he was drifting off, he heard the door creak open and felt a pair of lips press against his forehead. “I promise tomorrow will be better.”

~~~

Louis was sweaty from intramural football and grateful to be home. Nothing made him feel as good as footie, friends, and healthy competition. He dropped his things in the living room and followed the voices toward the kitchen. Liam and Niall were frowning into their food.

“Why the frowns, lads?” They looked up at him as he pulled up a chair to the table and dropped into it.

Niall bit his lip. “We’re worried about Harry.”

In an instant, Louis’ heart was in his mouth. _Was he hurt?_ No. They would have called, he decided. Did they know about the baby? Did Harry tell them? If not, Louis would have to play dumb. He swallowed.

“He had a panic attack,” Liam said gravely.

“It’s been years—he—” Louis stuttered.

“I know. He managed to call Gemma, and she talked him through it and got him to walk home, but he was almost catatonic with exhaustion after. I’m glad I was home. He just went up to bed.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.” They all stared at the table for a moment.

“He didn’t say what happened. But we realized he’s seemed…off?” Liam’s voice rose in uncertainty.

Niall leaned in. “Have you felt that? He hasn’t been coming down to breakfast with us as much. I’m not even sure he’s running in the morning.”

Louis avoided eye contact. “His routines haven’t been the same, I guess.”

Niall sighed and rubbed his face. “He loves his routines.” Nails clicking against the linoleum announced the dog arriving from his nap in the other room. He nuzzled into Louis’ leg and got the ear rub he craved. Liam reached down to stroke his back. They were all silent, lost in their thoughts. 

“Well, I’m just gonna go up and check on him,” Louis said, pushing his chair back. “Just in case he can’t fall asleep or, I don’t know, something.”

His head was spinning while he slipped through the house and up the stairs. He barely hesitated before opening his door. Harry was curled on his side, eyes closed, looking young and so, so vulnerable. Louis stepped up to him, vision blurring with tears, and kissed his forehead. He whispered fervently the same thing he always told himself: “I promise tomorrow will be better.”

He stepped back into the hallway and stood in the dark, rubbing away the tear that was crawling down his nose. This was shit. Harry deserved to be happy. Harry needed to know that he was going to be okay. That was easier said than done, but like hell if he wasn’t going to try. Tomorrow was going to be better. He was going to make sure of that.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry felt almost hungover in the morning. Slowly sitting up, he let his eyes close again. He really wasn’t ready to be awake yet. He was going to have to deal with yesterday. He compromised by deciding to go to the bathroom then come back to his bed.

But when he opened the door, he found Louis against the opposite wall of the hall. “Mornin,” he said softly, setting his phone down.

“Uh. Hey, Lou.” He was wrapped up in an oversize sweatshirt and joggers. His blues eyes looked small the way they did when he hadn’t slept enough.

“You’re up.”

“Yeah. Gotta pee.”

Louis hummed and stood to follow Harry toward the bathroom. “How are you feeling this morning?”

“Not great to be honest. Headache.” Louis made a soft sound of empathy.

“Any nausea though?”

Harry stopped for a moment, assessing. “No, actually. That’s two days in a row. That’s good.”

Louis grabbed his arm. “It is! So, you up for some tea and oatmeal?” Harry looked at Louis with narrowed eyes. He didn’t want pity, but that did sound good. He nodded grudgingly. “Alright, be back in a sec.”

By the time Harry was back on his bed, scrolling through his phone, Louis reappeared with travel mugs clutched under his arm and two bowls in his hands. He knocked the door closed behind him with his foot and padded over to join Harry on the bed.

“So,” Louis said, raising his eyebrows, as he handed over Harry’s tea, then bowl.

“So…?” Harry could tell something was up, but what? “Why is my tea in a travel mug?”

“Well, see, that’s the thing. You don’t have class until ten today, right?” Harry nodded, frowning slightly, as he blew on a spoonful of oatmeal. “It’s seven thirty right now. You must be missing your morning runs, so you can take a run if you want.”

Harry stared at him for a moment. “I guess I could.”

“It’s not bad for the baby unless you’re super pregnant.”

“I feel okay this morning.”

“Exactly,” Louis smiled. “And when you get back…there’s a clinic that we could visit. I think you should see a doctor. They can help you with information like that, and a ton more.” Harry hadn’t responded at all, but Louis charged ahead. “Like just now I realized we don’t have any Tylenol and that’s the only painkiller you should be taking right now. But you probably didn’t know that.”

Harry inhaled sharply. “Okay. But I’m too nervous to run before. I just want to go.”

“We could walk there instead of your run? It’s partly along your normal route. About two miles. They open at eight.”

“Lou, you are so good to me,” Harry said softly. 

“You deserve to be treated well,” Louis said, stirring his cereal. “I know yesterday sucked, but today is a new day.” When he looked over at Harry, he met watery green eyes. “The world isn’t over, Haz. You just gotta take it day by day, and I’ll be right there with you.”

Harry nodded and leaned up against Louis’ side to nuzzle into his sweater. They ate in comfortable silence. When Louis grabbed the dishes and disappeared, Harry changed. Not yet, but soon, his pants wouldn’t fit, and he was oddly okay with that. This wasn’t going to be easy, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

He found Louis in the living room petting Clifford. He stood up with a smile when he saw him. “You ready?”

“I guess I am.”

~~~

It felt good to be moving. They walked briskly through their neighborhood, waving at the neighbor on her porch and pausing to pet the terrier. The sun rose slowly behind them, and they chased their shadows.

It was only as they walked up to the door of the clinic that Harry felt the situation hit him. He slowed and swallowed the lump in his throat. Louis’ hand slipped into his and squeezed. The receptionist smiled and gave Harry forms to fill out. Louis sat right next to him, arm around his shoulder, as if he knew Harry needed his warmth to keep going.

It wasn’t long before he was called in. The nurse was so kind, asking questions and reviewing Harry’s responses. She took his vitals then sent him down the hall with a cup to get a urine sample. She traded him a paper gown for the sample. It was all so surreal.

When it was just the two of them again, waiting in the sterile room, Harry whispered, “Thank you, Lou.”

“You’re welcome. I’m really glad I can be here.”

“You don’t have class until later, right? You already missed the other day because of me.”

“I only missed one class, Haz. I have light Wednesdays. And yes, I don’t have class today until ten.” He reached out to catch Harry’s hand. “You’re more important, anyway.”

“The father should be with me.” Harry cringed. “No, that came out wrong. Sorry. I’m glad you’re here. I just…I wish this whole thing was different. I imagined all this stuff so much growing up, but I was always here in the doctor’s office with the father, excited instead of worried.”

“Well, Harold,” Louis pulled a soft smile but used his teasing tone, “your _Mamma Mia_ movie only just started. You can still be excited, and you can come to the doctor with the father as soon as we find him.”

Harry laughed bitterly. “If we find him. If he cares.”

“Haz, you’ve got good taste. I’m honestly pretty pissed the prick never called or dropped by since the party, but he can’t be a bad guy. I know you.”

“Yeah. It’s the first time I’ve ever hooked up and not remembered it, though. Maybe this is also the first time I chose someone who is a dick.”

Louis pinched his side. “Cut it out with that sad thinking.” He pulled notebook paper out of his pocket, unfolded it, and smoothed it against his thigh. “I have a plan for finding your guy.” Harry peered down at the paper:

**Mamma Mia: Hazza Edition**

  * Write down everything Harry remembers
  * Interview Liam and Niall
  * Interview Louis
  * Look at pictures for clues
  * Post in Facebook event asking for people to share more photos
  * Talk to stats girl about what she remembers
  * Talk to more people from party

“I’ll talk to other people casually about that night, reminisce, and just make note of anything that could be useful. I figured tonight we could sit down and both talk through _everything_ we remember.”

Harry squeezed Louis’ hand and opened his mouth to respond when a knock startled them.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Sanchez.” A petite woman with a warm smile and firm handshake greeted them both. She glanced at the computer for a moment. “So which of you is Harry?” Harry timidly raised his hand. “Well, our urine test corroborates the home test you took. Congratulations. Is this a planned pregnancy?”

“No. I’m a bit young for that, aren’t I?”

“Well, everyone has their own timeline,” she said kindly. “Do you have an idea when you might have conceived?”

“When school started, I think. So the end of August.”

“Well, I’m glad you came in. Sounds like you might be around the eight- or nine-week mark, which means we can take a look.” She pressed a button and a machine whirred to life. “Lean back, that’s it. I’m actually going to need to look from the inside since you’re early along and just gave us a urine sample. Next time I will ask you to come with a full bladder, but for now….” She gestured at Harry’s groin. “Raise your knees, please.”

She pulled on a glove, then opened a condom and slipped it over the ultrasound wand. Harry tugged his boxers off under the gown and passed them to Louis, blushing. Louis looked away as the doctor pumped lube into her gloved hand before ducking down to press a finger against Harry’s opening. “This might be cold. Just breathe, relax.” She rubbed and prodded gently at Harry until the muscles gave way. Satisfied, she rubbed the rest of the lube on the wand and lowered it under his gown.

“Keep breathing. This is likely much, much smaller than whatever was here when you conceived. I promise it will be easy.” Louis grabbed Harry’s hand. Harry felt so exposed. He was endlessly grateful to not be alone. She pushed the wand in, then slowly pressed against his walls while studying the screen. “Ah, there.” A soft fluttery sound echoed in the room. “That’s the heartbeat…. It sounds perfect.”

Harry couldn’t see the screen, but he could see Louis’ face. His lips were slightly parted, eyes wide in awe. Louis turned to Harry and spoke with reverence. “Haz, you’re making a baby.” Dr. Sanchez pulled the screen so Harry could see. It was unmistakably a baby—a tiny bean with the stubs of arms and feet—cradled inside him. Harry couldn’t summon any words. He just squeezed Louis’ hand harder and watched the baby sway on the screen.

“Everything looks just how it should, and the baby’s size lines up with about nine weeks of gestation. You are solidly in your first trimester. Based on that, your due date would be the end of May.” After school ends, Harry thought with a nod. “How have you been feeling?”

“I’ve had pretty bad morning sickness most days for the last two weeks.”

“Mm. I’m sorry, I know that can be hard. The good thing is you can expect that to pass soon. Few people continue to experience it past the first trimester. It’s actually a good sign, though. Your body is flooding you with the hormones you need to grow the baby. The nausea is a side effect.”

The doctor asked Harry about his diet and exercise. She encouraged him to run in moderation, just like Louis had said. She gave him pamphlets about what not to eat and what to eat more of. She listed symptoms, warned him that his breasts might begin to swell soon, that he might find his erections unpredictable with the influx of hormones, that the birth was often more complicated for males so he would need to set aside time to heal. She rattled off warning signs of something going wrong with the baby—some to call her about, others requiring emergency attention. Harry listened carefully, trying to organize it all in his mind. Louis typed furiously in his phone’s note app.

She paused then looked at him firmly. “I like to give my patients an idea of what pregnancy entails. Then I like to make sure they know they have options if they decide this is not what they want.” She handed him yet another pamphlet. “I recommend deciding in the next two weeks for the cheapest and safest abortion procedures, but you have as many as five weeks before it’s too far along. Adoption is also always an option. Both paths are covered in that resource.” Harry nodded.

“Call my office if you want to go ahead with the first option. We will make you an appointment. Otherwise, I would like to see you in three weeks for a checkup. You and your baby both look very healthy so far.” She gestured toward Louis, acknowledging him for the first time. “You two will have a beautiful child, should you want it.”

Harry stammered, glancing at Louis. Before he could correct her, the doctor was asking for questions. She thought he was with Louis. She thought Louis was the father. Their hands _were_ clasped, after all. Harry refocused only to catch the end of a question from Louis about managing morning sickness. She offered some suggestions, then breezed out of the room with a final smile.

“Lou, she thought we were together.”

“That’s what you took away from all that?”

“Well—I just…I’m sorry if—”

Harry was cut off by Louis’ peal of laughter. “Sorry?” His eyes were wild. “That’s a compliment. It’s like being mistaken for a supermodel. She thinks I could be with _you_.”

Harry frowned. “You’re not exactly undesirable, Lou. I’ve seen the way guys look at your ass.” Louis blushed.

“Just because I have a good _ass_et doesn’t mean I’m on your level. Pretty sure any guy on campus would love to be the father of your baby.”

Now Harry was blushing. “I don’t think that’s true.”

“I do. Now come on, we gotta get some prenatal vitamins before class.”

_Any guy?_ If Harry looked a little too long at his ass while they walked out—well, you couldn’t really blame him.


	5. Chapter 5

They didn’t end up meeting up to talk about what they remembered until the next afternoon. Harry was busy catching up on work from going to bed early the night before and skipping the day before that altogether. His mood was so much brighter, though. Niall and Liam were relieved. Louis was, too, but he knew things were far from over.

When they settled down on Louis’ rug to chat, Harry lay his head in Louis’ lap without hesitation. Louis slipped his hands into his hair.

“How was this morning?”

“Good. I was nauseous but I tried small snacks and the ginger ale we got. Worked.” He smiled lazily. “Lou, you’re the only person who knows. Will you look at the picture with me? I just need someone to remind me it’s real.”

“Of course. You got it? I’d love to see it again.”

Harry pulled out his phone. “I took a picture of it.” He turned his phone around, and there was the ultrasound from the clinic.

“It’s beautiful, Harry. You’re amazing. You’re making that.”

Harry wiggled happily in his lap. “Yeah.”

“So… did you think through the options Dr. Sanchez mentioned?”

Harry stilled. “It’s my baby, Lou. I’m gonna keep it.”

“Okay, I just wanted to check,” he whispered soothingly, stroking Harry’s tense arm until it loosened again. “I was hoping you would say that. I can’t wait to see you with a baby.”

Harry rubbed his hand absentmindedly over his belly. “We have three weeks to find the father if he is going to come to the next ultrasound.”

“Right. We can totally do that. Ready to remember?”

~~~

Louis looked over their notes. Even between them both, there wasn’t much.

Harry remembered standing on the driveway flagging people down while sipping Niall’s potions. He remembered beer pong, mingling with a few acquaintances including Perrie, and taking shots. Everything else was just a haze. He woke up with a sore ass and spent the next day drinking Pedialyte in bed.

Louis remembered more than Harry, but still not enough. He remembered greeting people, drinking several of Niall’s infamous mixed drinks, playing beer bong with the lads, catching up with some people he hadn’t seen since last spring, watching Harry fall and laughing, more alcohol, dancing with Harry to that New Zealand chic—"Lorde, Lou!”—and that’s most of it. He remembers making out with someone later. He knows he woke up in his own bed with a hickey and a hangover.

“Wait. Didn’t I see Grimmy at the party?”

Harry winced. “Oh. Yeah, I forgot. He made it.”

“I know you two ended things over the summer, but with the alcohol…do you think?”

“Shit. I don’t think so? But maybe. Oh god.”

“Have you talked to him since then?”

“No. If I saw him I would say hi, but we haven’t really talked since July.”

“You could text him, ask what happened that night?”

“Nooo,” Harry moaned. “God. That’s mortifying. Plus, he could lie.”

“Hmmm. He could, but he wouldn’t if you told him he owed you child support.” That got Harry to laugh, the deep belly laugh that Louis loved. “We can save that though. We still have many other bullet points. I’ll add threatening Grimmy to the bottom.” He flourished his pen and made a show of doing that. Harry giggled.

“What about you, huh? Who’d you get your hickey from?” Harry teased.

Louis rubbed at his neck. “I really don’t know, but I’m not gonna worry about it. It was just a little messing around.”

“How do you know?”

“I guess…I guess I don’t, but I’m not really one for hook ups or one-night stands. I doubt that changes even when I have far too much to drink,” he paused. “God, we really need to kill Niall.”

~~~

A preliminary review of tagged pictures on social media hadn’t revealed much. There was a great photo of Harry cheering after a particularly good shot at the beer pong table. Niall was cheering beside him. Liam and Louis pouted across the table. (“Let’s save that one. That’s good.”) There was also a cute shot of Harry and Louis dancing in the living room, just like they had tried to re-enact. Harry had his tongue out and head thrown back. Louis was doing something with his hips. They both looked far too happy considering how drunk they were. (“Oh, save that one, too. That’s amazing.”) They also found a shot of Harry looking dazed by the flash while Zayn bit Liam’s lip obscenely in the background.

“When are they just gonna get together?” Harry cried.

“I know right. I’m tired of getting caught in the middle of their eye-fucking.”

“It’s _almost_ cute.”

“No, it’s not, Harold.”

“Shut up.”

“I know Zayn’s a hoe, but he does hoe the hardest for Liam.”

“That’s true love.”

Louis hummed noncommittally. “Next, we can go through everything from that night that we aren’t tagged in just in case you are in the background,” Louis said, fingers hovering over the trackpad of his laptop. They had relocated to his bed, and Harry was curled up beside him, head rested on his shoulder to see the screen. It was so cozy.

“Tomorrow,” Harry murmured sleepily.

“Friends?”

“Duh.”

So Louis pulled up Netflix and settled back against the pillows with Harry.

~~~

Eventually they got hungry and untangled themselves to go heat up some Chinese takeout leftovers. Niall wandered into the kitchen with Clifford trailing behind. He refilled his water bottle at the sink and wiped sweat off his brow. “Cliff and I had some fun in the park today. I can barely keep up with him with this bum knee.”

Harry patted the dog fondly. “You’re so strong and fast, such a good boy.”

Niall eyed the leftovers hungrily as he chugged water. “I gotta eat so I can get ready for tonight. Any left?”

“Yeah,” Louis nodded toward the fridge. “Plenty.”

“What’s tonight?” Harry asked.

“The big Halloween bash! Zayn is going all out this year. Aren’t you coming?”

Harry and Louis locked eyes across the table. “Forgot about that. I don’t have anything to wear,” Louis finally said.

“Oh come on, Tommo. I’ve got the white face paint. That’s all we ever do.”

Harry studied the snap pea on his fork. “I’ll see,” Louis said, turning back to his food.

“Harry?”

“Oh. I’m not sure. I went to his party freshman year. It wasn’t that great.”

Niall shook his head in disbelief. “You two are the weirdest. Liam and I are gonna go. If you wanna join, meet us in the living room at ten. We’ll walk over together. Tommo, just find me in the bathroom for the face paint.”

Harry suddenly wasn’t hungry anymore. He cleaned up his plate then sat on the floor with Clifford while Niall took his seat at the table. He couldn’t go out with the lads. At least not without raising suspicions when he didn’t drink. He hadn’t been sober with drunk people in a while, but he remembered it wasn’t exactly fun. Looked like it was gonna be him and Clifford tonight then.

Eventually he excused himself and made his way to his room. A few moments later, there was knock. Louis popped his head in. “Haz? I had a thought.” He stepped into the room. “I have a couple beer bottles in my room, right, like some dumb college kid decoration. One of them has a plastic label so I could wash it and fill it with water. For you to take to the party, I mean.”

“Lou, you don’t need to do all that.”

“I just know it’s easier to turn down a drink from someone pushy if you already have one in your hand.”

“Oh. That’s smart. You’re smart.”

“I don’t want you to miss the party just because you’re—” Louis’ face softened as he gestured.

“You really look out for me.”

“I try.”

Harry stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Louis, nosing into the side of his head. “I am really glad I have you, Lou. I’m so lucky.”

“You are,” Louis teased halfheartedly against his shoulder. His chest felt so full.


	6. Chapter 6

Lights spun in dizzying circles through the darkness, spotlighting strangers for just a moment. The bass was deep and loud enough that Harry could feel it in his bones. The night felt like it existed in an entirely different world from the day. He sipped at the water in his smuggled-in beer bottle and let his mind slip. It was so easy to feel intoxicated here.

Zayn’s mesmerizing brown eyes slid into his view. He smiled and grooved to the rhythm as he yelled hello over the music. “So glad you made it, man.”

Harry gestured at Zayn’s Spiderman bodysuit and raised his voice. “You look great! Sorry about me.” He had sloppily scrawled “This is my costume” on a t-shirt.

“Like I care.” Zayn laughed and snaked an arm around Harry’s neck to tug him closer. He swayed their hips to the beat, mouthing along to the song with overexaggerated sensuality. Harry caught on to the game immediately, overenunciating the poetic Usher lyrics--“yeah, yeah!”--and wiggling his eyebrows seductively. Zayn giggled, and Harry winked.

Liam appeared from the crowd with two beers. “Zayn, noticed your hands are empty!” Zayn accepted the beer with a raised brow and took a long swallow while studying Liam, before removing his arm from Harry’s neck and raking his fingers across Liam’s exposed collarbones. Liam inhaled, his eyes widening almost comically. Harry bit back a laugh. That was his cue.

Zayn was always in his element at parties despite being an introvert. He’d explained it to Harry once—something about feeling like it was only him and whoever he was with despite the crowd. Plus, if his confidence approaching Liam was anything to judge by, he was probably high as fuck.

He slipped through bodies, searching for familiar faces in the shadows before pausing in a thinner bit of crowd to let Bruno Mars compel him, reveling in how good it felt to let loose. Of course it was precisely then, while he was dancing alone, that someone stumbled into him. Someone being Grimmy. Harry’s drink jostled and spilled on his shirt.

“Harry! Oh shit, sorry,” Grimmy yelled, patting at the wet spot as if that would help.

“It’s okay. It’s just—” Water. Just water. Harry cut himself off just in time. He bit his lip and gestured vaguely.

“Love the costume.”

Harry laughed, cringing internally. Grimmy, admittedly, looked great. He wore a bandana around his quiff, skintight red leather pants, and an open jean vest with nothing underneath. The sexy 80s rocker vibe was working for him. Harry’s felt incredibly underdressed in his sharpie-decorated tee and black jeans. “Thanks. I hate yours.” That startled a real laugh out of Grimmy. Harry played a sick air guitar riff, prompting another chuckle.

“Ok, Mr. Rockstar, can you do the running man?”

Harry struggled for a minute, feet shuffling and arms pumping before throwing his hands up in defeat. Grimmy took the opportunity to bust out an almost-decent running man. “Nooooo. Stop,” Harry whined, grabbing his arm and tugging him to a standstill. They laughed, breathless, and for a moment it felt like the summer again. Any minute now they would turn the vinyl over and reapply their sunscreen before another round of snogging and splashing in the pool.

“Oi, there you are!” Louis’ voice broke through their bubble.

Harry stepped back and smiled in Louis’ direction. “Hey!” He wanted to talk to Grimmy—see what he remembered from the party—but this wasn’t the place. It was too loud, for one, and Grimmy was definitely on his way to properly sloshed. He took a sip of his not-beer as an excuse to not talk.

“Grimshaw, that’s hideous!” Louis shouted with a grin.

“I could say the same to you!” Grimmy said with a wide, mirthless smile. They’d never been fond of each other. 

“Are you washed-up rock star or a one-hit wonder?” Louis wondered out loud, tapping at his chin. “No, I’ve got it—a sex offender!”

Harry elbowed Louis, hard. “Sorry, Nick.”

“I’m gonna go grab a drink. Always a pleasure, Tomlinson,” Gimmy said. Then, more quietly, he added, “Good to see you, Harry,” before slipping away in the crowd.

Louis put his hand on Harry’s lower back. “You doing ok? Need a refill?” He nodded to the beer bottle and winked.

“That was—” Harry’s mouth twisted as he gestured vaguely in the direction Grimmy had gone. “I really need to have fun tonight.”

Louis nodded wisely and took a sip from his cup. “You really do. Good thing I’m here.”

Harry giggled and swatted at Louis. “I have fun with other people.”

“But just admit it: no-one is as fun as me.”

Harry had a retort on the tip of his tongue, but then he heard the first chords of “Promiscuous,” and god, he couldn’t resist screaming all the words to a classic. He crowed in excitement, pointing at Louis with a wide grin, then leaning in to sing. “You looking for a girl that will treat you right?” he simpered and bit his lip coquettishly.

Louis cocked his head and smirked, singing right back, “You might be the type if I play my cards right.”

They continued the duet over the throbbing hook. They circled each other, playing their parts with all the fervor of wannabe Broadway stars. Harry swiveled his hips and arched his back. Louis gyrated filthily and dragged his tongue along his lip suggestively. The fun nostalgia evolved into something slower, deeper, more desperate. Their eyes were locked, their bodies close.

Harry licked his lips and wondered how Louis’ eyes could be that beautiful.

“You know what I want, and I got what you need,” Louis rasped, fisting Harry’s shirt to pull him closer. Harry’s eyes flashed and lips parted. Louis leaned into the arch of his neck.

“We don’t gotta play games no more,” Harry sang breathlessly, the final line fading into the dizzying rhythm of the song’s outro.

Louis could smell the sweat on Harry’s skin just an inch from his face. He could feel his chest rising and falling, his rapid breaths and fast pulse. He wanted to sway in, close the gap, and press his mouth against Harry’s neck…which was crazy. Instead he raised himself up to press his face against the side of Harry’s, nuzzled into his soft hair, and did the best approximation of whispering the room allowed. “I’m drunk.”

Harry laughed and wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist to hold him in place as he swayed. “Wanna go home, Lou?” Louis nodded.

But before they could leave, a group cajoled them into joining the toilet-paper zombie races. Harry and Louis decided they would have won but Zayn and Liam were cheaters. Then they stayed even longer because Louis dragged everyone outside with him for a smoke, then promptly organized a game of phone-flashlight tag in the alley behind the apartment. Harry won, which Louis argued was entirely because he had unnaturally long legs. “Also,” he whispered, “you’re sober. You’re basically doping at the Olympics.”

When they finally did leave, arms slung around each other, Louis made sure to wiggle his fingers in a ridiculous wave to Grimmy. “Bye-bye!”

That night Harry dreamt of hands smoothing down his chest, fisting in his hair, holding him close. He couldn’t see who it was. He needed to know who it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to share your favorite parts in the comments. It means a lot!


	7. Chapter 7

Harry had never called Gemma back to explain his panic attack, and she made sure he knew that. He sighed and turned his phone on silent. He wasn’t ready for that conversation. He needed answers first.

He had woken up with white face paint in his hair. It was still there after he showered, a real testament to how waxy and cheap it was, but well, he sorta liked it. He bit his lip around a smile and ran a hand along the side of his head. It was Louis’ stupid face paint.

It had been a long time since Harry had been sober around drunk people. In particular, he couldn’t remember the last time he had been sober while Louis was drunk. It wasn’t exactly easy to parse Louis’ feelings at any point, yet alone in the dark, but there had been a moment, a few if Harry was honest with himself, that felt odd. Not bad. Just…different.

If he thought about it too long, he would confuse himself. He was probably just making it all up anyway. So he turned back to his to do list.

Later that afternoon he shot a text to Louis.

**I still haven’t talked to Niall and Liam. Have you?**

A few hours later there was still no reply, which was a bit odd, but Louis was probably just busy.

**I think I’m gonna catch them tonight over dinner. See you then **

When Harry got home from the library that night, he was shocked to find the boys already cleaning up dinner.

“Sorry. Bad timing, Haz,” Liam said when he saw Harry standing hesitantly in the doorway. “Louis wanted to eat early so he could go to a study group. We both just decided to join him. Got a plate for you.”

Louis leaned down to pet Clifford, avoiding Harry’s gaze.

Niall tossed Harry a bottle of kombucha. “Consolation prize. I was across town near the health food store.”

Harry turned it over in his hands. “Thanks, mate.”

Louis rose. “Gotta hit the road.”

Niall and Liam chorused goodbyes. “I’ll miiiiiiss youuuuuu,” Niall crowed.

Harry picked at his reheated food, listening to Niall talk about his irritating teacher, and lost his nerve to ask them. Louis was probably just busy. Right?

By the next morning it became apparent that Louis was not just busy. He offered a strained smile when he came out of the bathroom while Harry was in the hall. “You doing ok with,” he raised his eyebrows, “everything?” Harry nodded. Louis acknowledged his response with another thin-lipped smile and slipped back into his room.

Harry was left standing there feeling very, very uncertain. He ducked into the bathroom and caught sight of himself in the mirror: startled, teary eyes and white paint in his hair. He’d only tried half-heartedly to get it out before, but now, it felt embarrassing. Under the hot spray of the shower, he scrubbed vigorously at his hair. _Dumb._ All those things he’d wondered in the back of his head since the party were dumb. _Whatever._

He emerged from the shower determined. He tugged on clothes and marched downstairs to the kitchen. When they all sat down for breakfast—Louis slinking down, still avoiding Harry’s eyes—Harry spoke up.

“Alright, I have to pick your brains. I’m still working on remembering some stuff from when I was drunk. Niall, you were right, it was the back to school party.” Niall pumped his fist in victory. “So I’m wondering what you and Liam remember from that party. Louis and I both don’t remember much.”

Liam shifted in his chair. “What exactly are you trying to figure out?”

“I think I hooked up with someone.”

Niall nodded, face suddenly impassive. “But you don’t remember who.” It was a statement.

“Unfortunately, not.”

Liam looked sideways at Niall. “Well, I don’t think I remember you with anyone unusual.”

Niall said, “I stayed up all night taking care of people who were too drunk. Made them breakfast in the morning. Didn’t end up passing out until nearly noon. Didn’t see anyone leaving, just my poor sick drunkies.”

“God, Niall,” Louis said harshly. “We can’t all drink like you.”

Niall’s eyebrows furrowed. “I take care of you all, don’t I?”

“Yes, but maybe put less hard-liquor in your punch. You’re gonna kill us.” The knuckles on Louis’ hand around his tea mug were white. Harry cleared his throat.

“Why are you trying to figure it out now, anyway?” Liam asked tentatively.

“Been having dreams about it.” It wasn’t a complete lie. Louis glanced at him. “So you two don’t remember anything that could be a lead?”

Niall looked at Liam. “No. I don’t.”

Liam nodded, holding Niall’s gaze. “I really don’t either.” He turned back to Harry. “We were all hanging out and having a blast, and then I was helping Niall with sick people and cleaning up with—er, yeah, cleaning.” He shifted in his seat. “You two disappeared at some point.”

Harry blushed thinking about what he had disappeared to do. He just needed to know who he disappeared with. “Well, let me know if you think of anything.”

En route to campus Harry’s phone buzzed with a notification. **Louis Tomlinson posted in Back to School Bash at the Lads’ House. **

He hesitated for a moment before opening it.

**Can’t believe it’s almost midterms! Please share photos from the party to remind us all that fun will come again. **

So he was still trying to help. At least there was that.


	8. Chapter 8

Louis had woken up after the Halloween party queasy with the sense that the night before had been bad. As the memories flooded back he found himself smiling like an idiot. _No, nothing bad._ Just an amazing night with Harry, dancing and giggling. But by the time he saw him in the kitchen dancing barefoot in the morning light singing as he refilled Clifford’s water…Louis remembered why it was bad. He bolted back up the stairs before Harry could see him.

When Harry texted him about dinner with the lads, he panicked. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t sit down and act normal when the night before he had thought about kissing his neck—and just now he’d felt compelled to wrap his arms around Harry and lean into his mess of curls as he danced. So Louis did what he had to do: He took the cowards way out.

Now he was trying to smoothly transition out of one coffee date into another without letting on that he was booked back-to-back. “It was so good to catch up, Danny,” he said with as much sincerity as he could muster. “I really hope those antibiotics work for your hamster.” Still, it took a few more attempts before Louis finally got rid of Danny and ducked off to the bathroom to breathe.

Listening to acquaintances prattle about the mundane details of their lives all afternoon was painful. Pulling out his phone, he tapped out the few details from the party Danny mentioned. None of it seemed promising, but you never knew. It was unlikely he was the father, though, if he was telling the truth about how he’d ended his night.

Stepping back out, Louis pulled on his best smile to greet the next guy. “Jack!” The barista was growing increasingly suspicious of his antics, and if the shaking in Louis’ hand was any indication, the six cups of tea were starting to become a problem. He wisely opted for chamomile this time. That’s what Harry would suggest if he were here to see his jitters, and it’s not like Louis was in the habit of ignoring what Harry wanted, he thought wryly. No, unless it was eating slimy avocados, Louis would do whatever, even if it was absolute hell.

So he sat across from man after man, wondering if they could raise a child with Harry, if they were the one who fucked him and left him without even a note, if any of them could possibly deserve Harry.

~~~

Harry felt odd walking through the world knowing he had a baby growing inside. He somehow felt both powerful and vulnerable, carrying a child and the secret. The pregnancy app he downloaded said the baby now had separated fingers and toes, miniature versions of his own—yet no one was any the wiser. That was best for now, he reminded himself, but with Louis avoiding him he was painfully aware of how alone he was.

So, he wasn’t all that worried about how desperate he sounded asking Perrie, someone he did not know all that well, if she wanted to study together after class. He _was_ desperate, just maybe not in the way he seemed. Harry needed answers if he wanted to tell people this secret.

Perrie agreed easily, and they decided to head over to the library. Harry jogged off to the bathroom—after morning sickness, the worst pregnancy symptom was the constant need to use the loo—before they settled into working. Perrie’s long hair kept falling onto her notebook and getting in her way as she worked out stats problems.

She flicked it behind her shoulder with a loud sigh. “Long hair is the worst.”

“I’ve got an extra hair clip on my bag, if that would help?”

“Ooh, you’re a life saver,” she said, accepting the clip and pulling the front of her hair up into it. “Now we match!”

Harry laughed. He was rocking a similar clawed clip on the crown of his head to hold back his hair. “We do match. I think this calls for a selfie.” He pulled out his phone and leaned his face near hers. She mimicked his open-mouthed smile and raised eyebrows. They both looked at the result in silence.

“Wow. We look great,” she deadpanned.

“Honestly, this is art.” After a moment, they both broke into giggles, swaying their heads to make their hair clips wiggle precariously atop their heads. When they caught their breath, Harry decided to broach the topic. “Okay, I’m going to ask you something.” Perrie blanched. “No, no. nothing bad, I just feel awkward. Um, it’s about the back to school party I threw at my place.”

“Oh, okay…what about it?”

“I remember talking to you there, but I blacked out later.”

“You weren’t the only one. You really need to get someone else to make the mixed drinks.”

“Oh, so you don’t remember that night either?”

“No, _I _do. My friend got sick.”

“Sorry. She was alright I hope? We told Niall to be more responsible with the portions.”

“Yeah, she was alright, but I’m still sore with that Niall kid. What’s your question then?”

“Right.” Harry blushed. “I’m trying to figure out who I hooked up with that night. Would have been a guy.”

“Oooh! You were talking to this one lad a lot--gorgeous, amazing cheekbones… kinda dangerous vibe?”

“Dangerous?”

“Yeah. Struck me as a bad boy.”

There was only one person he could think of who fit that description, but Zayn wouldn’t do that to Liam…would he? Zayn did like sex and had no shame in talking about it or seeking it out. He and Liam weren’t official or anything, but damn. Worse yet, would drunk Harry do that to his friend?

Perrie didn’t remember anything else. Harry remained uncharacteristically quiet, his head buzzing with questions he didn’t have answers to. They worked a bit longer before he begged off to be alone. Perrie’s concerned eyes were kind, but he was grateful she didn’t pry. She just gave him a hug.

He didn’t want to hurt Liam. Zayn was objectively beautiful and always good company, but Harry didn’t think he could build the life he imagined with him. He couldn’t see them kissing over the dishes and teaching kids to ride bikes. He couldn’t even picture him at the next ultrasound appointment.

Harry was startled out of his rumination by the realization that he had arrived home. For the first time in a long time, He took the time to dust off his record player. He lay on the floor in his room listening to the unique crackle of vinyl and trying to let his mind drift away to the sound of _Dark Side of the Moon_. The sun began to set and color his room in pinks and yellows, but he didn’t move to turn the light on. All he wanted to do was talk about this with Louis, but instead he pulled out the sonogram from the shoebox under his bed and told the baby.

“Hey, little one. I’m trying to figure out who your daddy is. I think it might be my friend…but I hope not. I want to fall in love with your dad. I want to wake up with him and feel so lucky. I want to hold you against my chest with his arms around us. I want him to give your baths and teach you how to ride a bike while I take pictures. It’s a lot to ask for, I know.”

Harry realized tears were dripping into his hairline and onto the carpet. He held the photo against his chest with one hand, gently stroking his belly with the other. “I don’t think my friend is that for me. He might be that for my other friend, but not me.” Harry paused, squeezed his eyes shut in the gloomy afterglow of dusk. “Don’t worry. It’ll be okay. I love you already. That’s all that matters.”

That night Harry dreamt of whisper-soft lips, firm and certain against his own. He dreamed he tripped and fell, laughing, before rising to his knees and coming face to face with a sinfully large erection straining at jeans. Pants parted with a sigh. Harry nuzzled into the soft hair and firm muscles of a thigh. He dreamed about someone calling him _baby_, over and over again.


	9. Chapter 9

The house was loud this Saturday morning. A large portion of the Tomlinson clan had shown up to see Louis play a football match. Louis was dodging from kid to kid, dolling out hugs and teasing, asking how school was, catching up on the latest drama. Lottie was trying to corral them all, but without much luck.

Harry was a bit overwhelmed, so he ducked away and tried to be useful. He put an overjoyed Clifford outside to run off his energy instead of knocking over Ernest. Then he started some pancakes and put two quiches in the oven to bake. Niall ambled into the kitchen—bleary-eyed and unhappy at the early wake-up call—and was put to work cutting up fruit into toddler-sized bites.

“Who’s hungry?” Harry called into the living room. He had everyone’s attention immediately. They piled into the kitchen to fill their plate and then back into the living room to find a seat. They munched happily as Harry flitted around with napkins and syrup.

Louis locked eyes with Harry as they knelt to mop up Daisy’s spilt milk and gave him a soft smile. “Thanks for feeding the crew.”

“Of course.”

Harry took a breath and almost said more, but Louis got up and started grabbing dirty plates. Things were still weird, and he didn’t understand why.

Liam helped with the dishes, and Niall took care of Clifford. Harry amused the younger ones with funny faces and tickles. Louis came down the stairs in his jersey and adidas joggers, bag slung over his shoulder, looking like a real football player.

“I’ll see all of you at the game, eh?” Louis said with a big grin. The kids squealed and clambered for hugs. Louis finally freed himself and left, only to peek in the front window a second later and wave, prompting a round of laughter. Harry tried not to feel hurt at being left out of the antics.

Knowing it wasn’t time to leave yet, he thumbed through his phone while the kids played with his hair. Instagram reminded him that he had a memory from five years ago. He opened the post to see Louis flopping down on the trampoline in his childhood backyard, surrounded by bright dry leaves. His mouth was open, and his eyes were shut, little crinkles giving his laughter away. The caption was “falling into autumn” with a long string of emojis. He set his phone down, heart aching just a little bit. That was so long ago, back when they were just two idiot choir kids trying to survive high school.

Louis told him he was gay one day on that very trampoline. Harry had bounced around singing “Gay is okay! Gay is great!” until Louis stopped moping and joined him. It wasn’t until the next year that Harry confessed the same thing. Louis had remembered the song, though.

At the end of that school year, they decided to come out together. Harry felt so much braver knowing no matter what happened they had each other. Their moms had hugged them hard and long, and the rest of their families followed suit. They were lucky.

When Louis went off to college, Harry was absolutely gutted, but then he met Liam in homeroom and convinced him to join choir. The next year they all ended up at the same school. Louis introduced them to Niall, and, well, the rest was history. 

~~~

Harry groaned as he sat down on the bleachers. He unbuttoned his pants under his oversized sweatshirt and gasped in relief. It was time to go shopping.

It might just be intramural, but these teams took football seriously. A decent crowd showed up to the pitch for weekend games. Of course, no crowd was louder than one with the Tomlinsons present. Harry cheered right along with them as Louis flitted around the field, occasionally stopping to pose and wave to his adoring fans. His teammates rolled their eyes fondly.

Louis was playing so well, especially when he backheeled the ball to another player for an amazing score. Another player smacked his ass proudly, much to the amusement of his siblings. It reminded Harry that he didn’t know much about Louis’ teammates. Was one of them the mystery guy he dated last year?

By the half-time break, Harry needed to pee, badly. He moved slowly down the stairs to avoid losing his unbuttoned—and now unzipped—pants, but lost focus when he heard Louis laughing loudly. He searched for a moment before his gaze fell on a few teammates clustered around Louis by the benches. Louis’ hair stuck out at odd angles from a beanie, shirt clinging to him with sweat. He laughed again and winked at the guy next to him with a sway of his hips.

Harry felt a tug on his leg. “Doris, love, what’s up?”

“I need potty.”

“Oh okay, I’ll help you.” He popped the toddler on his hip only to jerk her away again. Her little leg had flopped around Harry’s waist and brought a…_situation _to his attention. He was hard in his already-too-tight pants. That was not normal. “You can walk there, right?”

Dorris nodded. “But I gotta go!”

“Okay, we’re gonna get you to the bathroom.” He scanned the bleachers, but the older siblings were busy. They started walking down again, Harry waddling slightly and trying to hold back his blush of mortification. Just act casual, he reminded himself.

Seeing them, Louis jogged over with a big smile. “Is that my favorite girl?” He raised Doris up high. She giggled, then furrowed her brow.

“Potty time.”

“Ooh, good idea, love.” He pushed his fringe back and quirked his brow, blue eyes settling on Harry. “Were you taking her?”

“I—I was,” he stuttered, “but I have to go myself.” He was blushing, wasn’t he? Goddammit.

“I can take her. I have ten until we start again.” Harry nodded dumbly as Louis walked off with Doris toward the family restroom, chatting about the game.

He closed his eyes and breathed shakily. What was wrong with him? Trying to think about war movies and the time he accidentally saw his grandma half-dressed, he made his way to the men’s restroom. The doctor said there might be unpredictable erections, he reminded himself as he locked himself in a stall and pulled his pants down. His dick bobbed in the air, red and throbbing for attention, even as his bladder screamed to be emptied.

He’d woken up with morning wood and an urgent need to pee, so he knew to press just so behind his balls and focus hard…but the moment his hand brushed against skin, he moaned. He shivered as he let his hand drift up his shaft and back down again. So it was going to be the other option, then. 

It had been a while since he’d felt compelled to touch himself, and he was so sensitive, desperate. Every tiny movement triggered an earthquake of pleasure. It only took a minute before his eyes were rolling back in his head, breath stuttering, come spurting over his hand. He swayed, dizzy, up against the stall and tried to catch his breath.

As the come cooled on his skin he realized that he had just wanked in a public bathroom after accidentally letting a child’s leg touch his boner. This was a new low. He cleaned up and managed to finally relieve himself before rejoining everyone. He sat through the second half with a chagrined silence and excused himself from the group as soon as he could.

Alone in his room, finally, he peeled his pants off and decided the dreams must be getting in his head and messing with him. The only way out of this was forward. So, he took a deep breath and sent two text messages.

To Lou: **Any updates on mamma mia?**

To Grimmy: **Hey sorry that this is out of the blue, but what happened at the back to school party? I don’t remember much.**

Then he laid back on his bed and tried to not overthink. God, what he would give for a few beers right now. When his phone buzzed, he jumped for it. It was Louis.

**No leads. Sorry.**

Harry _did_ have a lead, but he wasn’t ready to deal with that. Instead he changed into joggers with a stretchy waistband and made a mental note to go to the thrift store asap.

That night he dreamt about licking along a thick, hard cock only to lean back and stare at it, the world spinning. He dreamed about unlacing blue-splattered shoes as clothing fell to the floor around him. Hands tugged him close and pulled at his ass cheeks as he whimpered against a sweaty neck. He dreamed he kissed every bit of skin he could reach, but it still wasn’t enough.


	10. Chapter 10

Niall greeted Harry with a phone inches from his face. “Can you please text your sister back? I’m tired of her calling me.”

“I _have_ texted her.”

“Well, text her more.”

Harry sank onto the couch with a sigh and reached for his phone to type something vague but consoling. He didn’t mean to make Gemma worry, but he just wasn’t ready to tell her the truth and was no good at lying to her. There was a text from Grimmy waiting for him.

** _Haha that is random. I had fun. Not sure what you mean?_ **

Harry rolled his eyes. Either nothing happened, or he was avoiding it. He texted back again, trying to avoid straight-up asking if they fucked.

**Did you do anything notable?**

He texted Gemma, then, and her response was immediate.

** _I’m glad Niall got you to stop ignoring me. R u ok? Why r u being weird_ **

**I’m fine! Sorry!! Just busy and kinda embarrassed about the panic attack**

** _you’ve seen me with a pad stuck to my backpack no need to be embarrassed _ **

**lol**

Harry had come home after class rather than go to the library like he often did because he had one thing left on his check-list of stuff he needed to stop ignoring. Well, two—but he only planned on dealing with one.

“I texted her, so you can chill now,” he said, setting his phone down.

Niall looked up from where he had been wrestling with Clifford on the living room floor. “Thank god!”

“Do you know if Louis is home?”

“I haven’t seen him, actually.”

“Huh. Okay.” Harry blew out a breath.

“Why? What’s up?”

“Nothing. Just wanted to talk to him.”

“Well, maybe I just missed him. Won’t know unless you look around a bit.”

Harry reflected on that, feeling unwilling to get back onto his feet. What the doctor hadn’t mentioned was how swollen and sore his feet would get. After a few quiet moments, he heaved himself off the couch. “I’m gonna see if he’s in his room.”

“Alright. If he’s not, I think he has a secret store of the good weed in that funny-lookin’ box by his closet. Grab some.” Harry laughed and didn’t bother responding. He hadn’t done the research, but he was going to bet he shouldn’t smoke while pregnant.

He knocked on Louis’ door. When he got no response, he gently turned the knob and pushed it open. No one was there--just that sweet, distinct Louis smell blended with cigarette smoke and dirty socks. Harry closed the door quietly and wondered what exactly he had been planning to say, anyway.

‘Hey, you’ve been avoiding me. What the hell?’ No. Too harsh. ‘I miss you. I feel like everything is easier when you’re with me.’ No. Too honest. A floorboard creaked, startling him.

“Hey Harry,” Zayn said, quietly, drying his hands on his shirt.

Harry didn’t know the last time he’d seen Zayn in this house other than for a party. What were the goddamn chances that _now_ he was here, coming out of the bathroom like he owned the place, right when Harry wanted so desperately _not _to see him.

“Everything okay?” Zayn’s brow furrowed at Harry’s silence and panicked eyes.

Suddenly everything came back into focus. Zayn had probably fucked his sorta-boyfriend’s best mate and gotten him pregnant. Harry’s blood boiled. “I didn’t remember the party. You took advantage of that. And Liam. I don’t know what you two are up to, but it is never cool to bang a best mate. You have no idea what–”

Zayn cut him off. “What the fuck are you on about?”

“The party! The back to school party! I know what happened.”

“What happened? Liam and I took care of drunk people and then tried some new bondage gear. You, on the other hand, definitely did some stuff….”

Harry sputtered. “So you didn’t fuck me?”

Zayn spoke slowly, as if Harry was stupid. “No. I did not fuck you. I would never do that to Liam.”

“Oh god. I’m so sorry,” Harry started rambling, covering his face with his hands. “It’s just that I’ve been trying to figure out who I slept with, and I found some clues that said you, and I really am so sorry.”

Zayn grabbed his arm. “It’s okay. If anything, I think it’s pretty funny.”

“It’s not.”

“It really is!” He laughed. “You were so mad at me for sleeping with someone other than Liam—who I’m not even officially dating—but you slept with someone else, too.”

“What do you mean, someone _else_?”

Zayn rolled his eyes. “Never mind. At least I’m self-aware.”

“No, seriously, what are you saying?”

“It’s just rich coming from you, babe. I’m gonna get back to Liam now. He’s waiting.” Zayn winked.

“Ew,” Harry squawked. “Do not bring me into this. I let you off easy earlier about the bondage stuff. I don’t wanna know _anything_ else.” Zayn just smacked his own ass and blew Harry a kiss before slipping into Liam’s room. Ew.

Now he had no real leads—just an inkling of worry about Grimmy—but at least there was the overwhelming relief of knowing it wasn’t Zayn. There wasn’t anyone else he knew who fit Perrie’s description, but maybe if Louis would talk to him, he could figure it out.

~~~

Harry still hadn’t caught Louis alone the next day. He was starting to really wonder if he had done something wrong. In all the years they had been friends—from being baby gays in choir to long-distance friends to housemates—they had never had a stretch like this. He pulled up photos in his phone and scrolled through, stopping on the one from the party of the two of them dancing. It made his heart ache a bit, and not just like the heartburn he’d been having from the pregnancy.

Pulling up Instagram, he popped on a filter and posted it with the caption “there’s nothing like old friends.” Almost immediately his mom commented, “I love this! Looks like you’re having fun. Miss you two.” Harry tagged Louis and then put his phone away, wondering if he would see the photo and remember his best friend.

~~~

Louis stared at the notification. He gulped and stuffed his phone back in his bag. He knew he needed to start acting normal soon or other people might pick up on it. _Harry_ might pick up on it and figure out it all started after the Halloween party.

Plus, he missed him.

Every morning he woke up wondering how Harry was feeling, then sat in the kitchen for far too long so he could watch him while everyone was there. It was easy to slip away when there was no longer that protection. So far, Harry seemed like he was doing okay. That was what mattered most. Well, that and the search for the father.

Louis had talked to so many people, with no luck. He was even considering talking to Grimmy. If it wasn’t any of those other guys, it might be that slimy-haired idiot. But god, Louis hoped not.

~~~

Harry was sprawled out on the quad reading his marketing textbook when someone flopped down beside him. He looked over to see Perrie.

“Aren’t you cold?” she asked.

“Not yet. I’m in the sun.”

“Fair enough. Gotta get that vitamin D. Which, speaking of,” she wiggled her eyebrows, “I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”

“God, vitamin D. That’s such a tired joke.”

“Shut up. On your Instagram, you posted a picture with the guy!”

“What?”

“The guy I was telling you about from the party that you were with all night, you posted a photo with him.”

Harry tried to understand what she was saying. “Yeah, it wasn’t Zayn.”

“Who?” Perrie was tapping her phone. “No, it was the guy with the skull tattoo and amazing eyes. This one.” She turned her phone to Harry, pointing to the Instagram post of him and Louis dancing.

“Ohhhh. I forget he has those edgy tattoos…” he trailed off with a sigh. “He’s not a bad boy. He just wants to play footie and watch Friends.”

“So you and this guy…?”

“No, no. That’s my best mate.” Perrie hummed. “Another dead end.”

“Well, in that case…is he single?”

“He’s gay, Perrie, so it really doesn’t matter.”

She shrugged. “You miss every shot you don’t take.”

They lay in the grass staring at the sky in companionable silence. Harry wished he could remember something useful from his dreams. Anything.

But that night he dreamt he was being held tight against someone’s chest as they thrust into him. He tried to turn around, tried to see the face, but he couldn’t. He could only give into the hot breath on his neck and arch his back into the pleasure. He dreamed lips pressed softly against his shoulder and murmured, “you’re so beautiful.”

He woke up feeling so fucking alone.


	11. Chapter 11

Harry had texted saying he wanted to talk and to just come by his room. Louis had gotten up the nerve to knock on his door, but now he was frozen, waiting for a response. Harry probably couldn’t even hear the knock over his music. He tried again to no avail. What would he do if he were acting normal? He would walk right in. So he did.

Harry was standing in front of his mirror in his boxers, curls messy, cradling a small bump between his hips. He was the most beautiful thing Louis had ever seen. Catching Louis’ eyes in the mirror, he turned around.

“You—you have a bump,” Louis whispered, stepping closer, and reaching out to touch.

“I do.”

Without thinking, Louis was kneeling and pressing both hands to it reverently. Tears welled in his eyes. He looked up and found Harry’s stormy green eyes staring back.

~~~

Harry had wanted to know what was wrong, but he could feel it now. Nothing was wrong. Everything was just the way it had always been, except now his heart was beating out of his chest. He laid a hand over Louis’ and held his gaze. Those watery blue eyes felt like they were dragging him in. He tugged on Louis’s hand, bringing him to his feet and surged forward to wrap his arms around him.

“I miss you,” he whispered.

“Well, I’m right here, silly,” Louis said in a wavering voice.

“You haven’t been here.”

“I know.”

James Taylor started crooning from the speaker, and they swayed gently, unwilling to let go. When the song ended, Louis stepped back, and Harry let his arms fall away.

Louis spoke up. “I’m sorry.”

Harry grabbed his hand across the space between them. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not, but oh well.”

“It’s okay,” Harry repeated himself.

“Okay.”

They sat down on the bed together, and Louis told him about his coffee chats, pulling up his phone to show his notes. Harry, in turn, told him about what Perrie said and his awkward conversation with Zayn. Louis gasped and laughed in all the right places. Conversation drifted to classes, Clifford’s recent penchant for a lady dog, and Louis’ goal assist at the footie game the weekend before. Before they knew it, they were lying on their sides, feet tangled together.

Louis was listening, gaze intent, occasionally licking his lips. Suddenly, Harry felt breathless. It hit him like a gust of wind. He _wanted Louis_. He shook his head and tried to continue what he had been saying, but he trailed off, staring at the plush pink of Louis’ lips. What had Perrie said? _Gorgeous._

Louis looked nervous. He sat up. “We lost track of time. I better go work on my paper.”

“Right,” Harry said as he rushed to sit up, too.

“I only have a few more people on my list. One of them is Grimmy.”

“I texted him, actually.”

“Oh, are you two—” Louis gestured awkwardly and looked down.

“No! I was trying to figure out if it was him. So far I can’t tell.”

“Can I see what he said?”

Harry pulled up the message thread. “He hasn’t responded since I texted him a more pointed question.”

“Mmm. Give him another text?”

Harry nodded. “I’m just not sure what to say.”

“Just ask. Honestly, he’s being a dick.”

Harry chuckled. “Yeah, well, he’s not the most polite.”

“He’s a prick.” Louis slid off the bed, waving his hands at Harry’s attempts to defend Grimmy. “Time for me to go work. Keep taking those prenatals, Haz.”

With that he was gone, and Harry was left sitting on his bed with his newly-apparent baby bump and dread in his heart. He couldn’t really be having these feelings for his best friend. Please, no.

It was looking less and less likely the father was going to be at the next sonogram or any other milestones. But Louis knew everything. Louis took care of him. It didn’t matter, anyway. Louis would never want Harry like that, especially not now that he was having someone else’s baby.

Harry could feel the edge of panic rising beneath the fog in his brain. So, he pulled out his phone and did something he should have done a long time ago.

“Hey, Harry!” It was such a relief to hear Gemma’s voice.

“Hi,” he said breathlessly. “Can we talk? There’s some stuff I haven’t told you—big stuff—and I’m freaking out.”

“Of course. Let me just kick my roommates out so they don’t eavesdrop.” There were muffled shouts about getting the fuck out. “Okay, tell me everything.” And he did.


	12. Chapter 12

The morning before the sonogram appointment, Harry and Louis met one last time to review their notes. They sat against the wall on Harry’s bed, socked feet dangling off the edge, mugs of tea in hand.

“So it’s tomorrow, then,” Louis said.

“Yeah. It is.”

“You’re gonna get to see how big and strong the little one is now.”

Harry rubbed his belly absentmindedly and nodded, frowning. “You would have told me if you had anything, right?”

“Of course, I would have,” Louis said quietly. “I’m sorry, Haz. I don’t think I have anyone.”

Harry stared down into his tea. “Me neither.”

“Well, let’s review everything to be sure.”

“Okay.”

So they went through each person in Louis’ notes. They checked each guy’s Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and VSCO for untagged pictures. Their voices grew tired, and the tea grew cold, but there was nothing new, nothing useful. Eventually, they stopped talking and slumped down in defeat. 

Louis broke the silence by pulling out a wrinkled piece of paper and smoothing it against his thigh. “There’s one thing I still haven’t done.”

**Mamma Mia: Hazza Edition**

  * <strike>Write down everything Harry remembers</strike>
  * <strike>Interview Liam and Niall</strike>
  * <strike>Interview Louis</strike>
  * <strike>Look at pictures for clues</strike>
  * <strike>Post in Facebook event asking for people to share more photos</strike>
  * <strike>Talk to stats girl about what she remembers</strike>
  * <strike>Talk to more people from party </strike>
  * Threaten Grimmy

Harry barked out a laugh. “I got the sense that he wasn’t the father, but you’re right, he never did respond to my text.”

“Let’s call him.”

Harry’s eyebrows shot up, but he didn’t stop Louis from pull out his phone and dialing. Louis turned on speakerphone and let the ring blare through the still room.

“’Lo?”

“Grimmy, mate, it’s Louis.”

“Oh,” he paused. “Um, hi, Louis.”

“Alright then, I need to get you to tell me how you ended your night at our back-to-school bash.”

“Erm. Why?”

“I swear I will tear your nuts off, Grimmy. Just tell me.”

“I went home with someone.” Harry dug his fingertips into Louis’ thigh, looking at him with wide eyes.

Louis punctuated each word. “Who. Was. It?”

“Harry texted me about that party, too. I really don’t understand why you care.”

“Grimshaw,” Louis started, voice cold and brittle, “I’m going to need you to just answer the question.”

“God. Look, I’m embarrassed. It was this freshman guy. I don’t even know his name.”

Harry honked a laugh, then threw his hand over his mouth. Louis grinned.

“Harry? Is that--” Grimmy asked.

Louis cut him off. “Well, congrats on going after actual infants, dude. Great talking. Bye!” He punched the end-call button triumphantly. “It’s not Grimshaw!” he cheered.

Harry laughed again and mimed wiping his brow. “Whew! Close call.” This was one of those moments where Harry’s feelings pounded at his ribcage stronger than ever. Louis was being sassy, supportive, and funny. Louis was the prettiest, most wonderful person. They fell into each other, still giggling.

It hurt to feel his dreams of falling in love with the father slip away, but Harry was also oddly relieved. He was content tangled in his best friend’s limbs. It might not be the storybook family he had grown up dreaming about, but Louis would always, always be there for him. Who could possibly compete with that?

~~~

Harry was laughing, radiant, and Louis felt so happy he could burst. They hadn’t found the father, and god, he shouldn’t be happy, but he was.

He checked the time. “Curly, I gotta get to class.” Harry slowly removed his limbs so Louis could get up, then shuffled behind him across the hallway and into Louis’ room.

“Thanks again for your help with everything,” Harry said.

“Of course, Haz,” Louis said with a smile, grabbing his book from the desk and stuffing it into his bag.

“I—I told Gemma the other night…”

“Damn. Good for you! How did she take it?” He tugged off his too-big sweatpants and pulled on an old pair of jeans.

“Great. She was so excited to be an aunt and such a good listener.”

“I’m glad you worked up the courage to tell her,” he said, starting to dig through his shoe pile.

“Me too. I think I’m gonna tell the lads and my mom. I’m still scared, but I know it will be easier with them.”

Louis hummed in agreement and kept tossing shoes around, turning instead to his closet. “Aha! Got em!” Harry laughed at his dramatics. “After class, I’m supposed to help out this group of kids with a service project. They’re fixing up the football pitch at that school across town that doesn’t get a lot of funding. These shoes already have paint on them, so they’re perfect.” Louis pointed to splashes of blue paint on his Vans as he tied them.

He looked around for his jacket. “I think it will be fun to help them, and it’s a good cause, ya know?” With a start, he realized that Harry was not in the room. “Harry?” The hallway was empty. Harry’s room was empty, too. Louis knocked on the bathroom door. “Harry? Are you okay?”

“I just don’t feel so good!” came a strained voice.

“Can I help? I can get ginger ale or crackers.”

“No. I think I should probably be alone.”

“Oh. Okay.” He scuffed his foot against the floor. “What do you think it is?”

There was no response. Louis sat down against the door and listened intently, but he couldn’t hear much through the heavy wood door. Minutes ticked by.

“Okay, I’m gonna head to class?” It was silent in the bathroom. “Harry, you’re scaring me.”

A clipped shout came in response. “Bye!”

If Harry didn’t want to talk to him, he couldn’t help. He didn’t understand the sudden shift in his behavior. Feeling unsteady<strike>,</strike> he texted to the other lads to check on Harry and left. All afternoon he found himself staring at his phone for something to tell him how Harry was doing, why he seemed mad, anything, but no such message came.

~~~

Harry tried to swallow, but his tongue felt stiff inside his dry mouth. _Blue-splattered shoes._ He was holding onto the edge of toilet, remembering when Louis found him there before his whole life changed. Those shoes were exactly like the ones in his dream. Louis didn’t remember the night of the party either. He shook his head, tried to swallow again. Could it be? Was there no-one else near him in pictures from the party because he wasn’t _with_ anyone else? Now he was just trying to breathe—so afraid that he was wrong, even more afraid that he was right.


	13. Chapter 13

Louis was busy with the service project, so he wasn’t home for dinner. Harry was grateful for that. He had texted Niall that he was doing dinner, and he spent the early evening moving around the kitchen. He had always enjoyed the meditative act of cooking, and tonight he needed it.

As he pulled a pan of chicken out of the oven, Clifford padded over. “Hey buddy,” Harry said softly, rubbing his bare foot against the dog’s leg. Clifford rubbed the side of his head against Harry and raised his nose to press against the soft bulge of the baby. “There’s a little guy in there,” he told him. Clifford let out a single sharp bark, then promptly laid down on Harry’s feet. Harry laughed to himself and shimmied his feet free to toss the salad. He’d even added avocados since Louis wasn’t eating.

He was just setting the table when Niall came in the front door and Liam thundered down the stairs. “Perfect timing!” They grabbed food and settled down around the table. Niall had high praises for the chef.

“Yeah and I like how healthy this is,” Liam agreed. “Good for gains.”

Niall scoffed, offended. “You don’t like how I normally cook, Payno?”

“Guys, come on,” Harry said. Liam rolled his eyes but let it go. Harry closed his eyes for a moment. “Alright then, I actually need to talk to you two.”

“Everything okay?” Liam asked, putting his fork down.

“I think so. It’s just that, well, you know how I was trying to figure out who I slept with at the party?” They nodded. “I think I know who it is.”

Niall and Liam froze. “Yeah? Who?” Niall asked while slowly folding his napkin.

“In the dreams I’ve been having about that night, there was this one detail, and I realized it matched. I know this is weird, but,” Harry took a deep breath, “I think it’s Louis.”

Liam laughed. Niall stood up, knocking his chair over. “Thank God!”

Harry looked between them in utter confusion.

“We thought you would never realize it!”

“Wait, you… you knew about this?”

“We didn’t _know_, but we both thought that had happened,” Liam said, grimacing.

“You two were all over each other all night!” Niall added gleefully.

“When we realized neither of you remembered it, we figured you needed to figure it out on your own,” Liam said.

Harry sat in silence, staring at Clifford, who came over to lick crumbs off his hands. So it was true, then. It was Louis. Breathing shakily, he looked up at the lads who looked chagrinned.

He had to tell them the whole truth. “The thing is…I’m pregnant.” Niall’s jaw immediately dropped. Liam looked like he was going to pass out. “I’ve been trying to find the guy I slept with at the party because he’s the father.”

“Shit, Harry. I’m so sorry I laughed,” Liam whispered.

“Louis knows I’m pregnant. He’s been helping me, but I’m terrified of telling him that it’s him.”

Niall shook his head vigorously. “No, no, no. Louis loves you, and he loves children.”

“I don’t think he loves me like that, though.”

They sat for a moment, adjusting to that thought. “You never know,” Liam said. “We didn’t know how serious this was, but Niall and I thought you two were gonna be the real deal.”

“Maybe,” Harry said, trying not to let himself imagine a life with Louis. He couldn’t get his hopes up.

The three talked for a long time that night. They cleaned up, and Harry excused himself to do some homework, but he just sat at his desk staring at a picture of Louis and him on his corkboard. This could either ruin everything or crack it open and reveal how much more there was underneath. Eventually, he gave up on the assignments and crawled into bed, stomach aching with worry.

A text from Louis lit up the darkness, but he shoved the phone under his pillow. How could he seem normal when he knew this huge, life-changing thing about them? He was no good at lying— especially not to Louis—but he also wasn’t ready to tell the truth.

~~~

The next day Niall and Liam called an Uber and climbed in beside Harry. They were mostly silent in the car, aware of the stranger listening from the front seat. When they arrived, Harry thanked the driver and stood on the curb, staring up at the clinic with a lad on each side. It somehow felt so much scarier than the last time.

“We can go in with you, right Niall?” Liam said.

Niall nodded. “’Course. We’re here for you.”

Harry smiled sadly. “Thanks, lads.”

They sat awkwardly in the waiting room, watching the other nervous college kids and teens. Harry was trying to meditate, breathing evenly and letting his mind empty, when the door swung open with such force it hit the wall. Louis stood there with disheveled hair and flowers. His eyes grew wide when he saw the three of them.

“Oh, I–um–Harry, you didn’t respond, but I didn’t want you to be alone.” Louis ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t think you need me, though.”

Harry stood up and reached out his hand, instinctually. “Please stay.” Louis stepped forward hesitantly, and Harry grabbed his hand.

“These flowers are, uh, they’re for you,” Louis said. “Thought since you didn’t get the dream boy, you at least deserved some flowers.”

Harry chuckled softly at the irony. “Thanks, Lou.”

Niall and Liam had been averting their eyes, but Niall looked up long enough to lock eyes with Louis. “You’ve known this whole time, you bastard.”

Harry smacked him. “Shut up. You have no right to talk.” Niall gulped and became very interested in the seam of his pants.

A nurse called his name then, and the boys looked at Harry expectantly. He turned to the nurse. “Can I bring three people back?”

Her eyes narrowed. “Yes, but if any of them cause trouble I will kick out all three.”

That was good enough. They filed into a room, dutifully turned away as Harry changed, and marveled at the diagrams of fetus growth on the wall. By the time the doctor came in, talked to him, and pulled out the ultrasound wand, this whole thing almost seemed normal. But as she dragged the wand across his abdomen, a hush filled the room.

The three weeks had made a big difference. The baby was so much bigger, every limb clearly defined. There was a little nose and individual fingers, and—most startlingly—it was moving. Harry reached out to Louis, who took his hand easily and gave it a firm squeeze. Every lad was teary-eyed.

By the time they were walking out again, a new sonogram tightly clasped in Harry’s hand, everyone seemed shaky.

“I just can’t believe this. This is the most amazing, most beautiful, most exciting thing!” Niall said in dazed voice.

Liam laughed. “It really is!” His laughs turned into little sobs. “I know this was unexpected, but it’s amazing.” He scrubbed at his eyes and hiccupped. “You know we will all help you with this. I would be so honored.”

Niall pounded Liam on the back. “Me, too.”

Harry smiled at them, at a loss for words. Instead, he just held out his arms, and they wrapped him in a tight hug. Stepping away, he looked over at Louis then back to the boys. They nodded and walked off, saying they had to go celebrate by day drinking.

“Classic,” Louis said with a laugh.

Harry looked at him for a long moment, at his long eyelashes and bright eyes, his infectious smile and high cheekbones. The only way forward was through. As scary as it was, he had to have this conversation. “Do you want to go for a walk?”


	14. Chapter 14

They had walked over to a park and finally settled onto a bench amongst the crunching leaves. Louis was so grateful that things seemed normal between them again. If anything, Harry was more clingy than usual. He kept pressing up against him, like he needed his touch. Louis rubbed his hand up and down Harry’s arm reassuringly. “You okay, Curly?”

“I could use a hug, to be honest.”

So Louis pulled him in, and they sat wrapped up in each other for a long moment. When Louis finally started to pull away, Harry pulled him back in fiercely for a final squeeze.

When Harry spoke next, his voice was shaking. “I have to tell you something now.”

Louis schooled his expression into something neutral despite the way his palms began to sweat. “Okay.” Harry wouldn’t look at him now, which made his stomach seize up. He wanted to run away, but he needed to hear whatever this was.

“So I didn’t tell you a lot about them, but I’ve been having these dreams.” Louis nodded. “They seem to be about that night at the party, but I never remembered anything useful. At least, I didn’t think I did.”

Louis was practically quivering now. He could tell what was just beyond this: Harry had found the father. It had been so lovely being there, holding his hand, in the sonogram today. He’d gotten used to being the person Harry turned to, but now there was going to be someone else who had that right.

Harry continued, “Yesterday, I found a match for something I remembered, and then I ran it past the lads. It turns out they thought all along that was the answer.”

He gasped. “Those fuckers just withheld the father’s identity?”

“They didn’t know I was pregnant. They didn’t understand how important it was. And, well, I think I might have done that too if it were the other way around.”

“How could you say that?”

“They thought we needed to figure it out on our own.” And wait, who was this we?

“So, who—I don’t understand.”

Harry just kept talking, staring into the distance. “I always thought it was odd that the guy didn’t reach out after or show his hand in some way.”

“Yeah, cause he’s a dick,” Louis muttered angrily.

“No, he’s not.” Harry turned to him with earnest eyes, then looked away again. “He didn’t remember it either.”

“What are the chances of that happening? This bloke sounds like a good liar.”

“He still doesn’t know, so I don’t think he lied.”

“Oh.” That made Louis stop. Harry still hadn’t told the father.

“At first I was too scared to tell him, and I still am, but I’m going to do it anyway.”

“Do you need me to come with?”

Harry shook his head with a small smile. “Louis, you are the most amazing person.”

“Harry, you know I’d do anything for you. That’s not a big deal.”

“I’m so grateful that I’ve known you all these years. We’ve been through so much together. So I really hope this doesn’t change it.”

“Shit, did you sleep with a Nazi? I don’t get it. Who is this guy that he could mess up what we have?”

“Well he’s…” Harry’s eyes darted to Louis, “he’s you.”

Louis played that sentence back in his head again and again, trying to understand. He shook his head. “What?”

“Lou, it’s you.”

He started laughing, then. “Haz, why are you taking the piss?”

Harry’s face was so pinched and nervous. “I’m not.”

“Oh. You mean we—” Louis broke off and stood up abruptly. “You mean that’s my baby?”

Harry was biting his lip anxiously. “Yes. Lou, please don’t freak out.”

Louis felt like his chest was constricting. His head was swimming. He had _sex_ with Harry. “I’m so sorry, Haz. I did this to you. I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me.”

Harry reached out for him. “It’s okay.”

“Did I not use protection? God, I am horrible.”

“No, you’re not horrible.”

Louis was pacing now, hands in his hair. “I don’t remember that night either. All I remember is being with you and having so much fun. We were dancing. And then I guess we were…” He trailed off then let out a loud moan. “Oh my god.”

“Lou, can you listen for a second?”

“How can you even look at me?”

“I love looking at you,” Harry said softly. “See, that’s the thing. Everything I remember from those dreams tells me we weren’t just hooking up. We were…well, it was beautiful.”

Louis finally stopped pacing and dropped back onto the bench. “Oh, you remember it.” He knew he was blushing. He thought he’d kept his feelings buried, but apparently drunk Louis wanted to make love to Harry. He covered his face with his hands. “Fuck. This is such a mess.”

“Is it?”

“You’re never gonna have the beautiful story-book family you wanted, and you _deserve_ that.”

Harry’s face twisted oddly. “Oh. I thought maybe—well, never mind.”

“You shouldn’t have to settle for me just because I knocked you up.”

“It’s not settling—" Harry started, but Louis cut him off.

“Oh, stop. You shouldn’t be in a loveless relationship just because there’s a kid.”

Now Harry was crying. “Fuck you, Lou.”

Louis was exasperated now. “God, don’t cry. I’m sorry. Okay? I didn’t mean it to be like this. I thought one day I’d get up the courage to tell you, but I thought we had time. I didn’t think we’d be having a kid.”

Harry hiccupped and rubbed his sweater against his eyes. “Tell me?”

“Yeah, tell you that I’m in love with you. Why do you think I barely date? Every time I go on a date I just end up wanting to be home with you.” Louis refused to look at Harry. “I only realized exactly what it all meant when I thought that was another guy’s baby. It hurt so badly to think about.” He gritted his teeth. “And now you think you should be with me because of the baby.”

Suddenly something hit him. He looked up to see Harry standing there with red-rimmed eyes and a determined expression. “You look here, you twat,” he said. “I love you, too, and I did even before I knew this baby was yours. So you’re going to have to shut up with this pity party.”

Louis closed his eyes and tried to replay what Harry said for the second time in this conversation. He loved him, too. Harry loved Louis. When he opened his eyes again, his vision swam with tears. “Harry,” he said, his voice cracking. “Are you sure?”

“I am so sure. Lobsters might not actually mate for life, but you’re my lobster in the metaphorical sense. You’re my person. You always will be.”

Louis tugged Harry into an embrace and lost his balance in the process. They fell onto the bench, tangled together tightly. Louis pulled back to gaze in awe at the beautiful boy in his arms. He ran his fingers along Harry’s jaw and cradled his cheek in his hand. Somehow, he loved him back.

His eyes settled on the pink plush of Harry’s parted lips. “Can I kiss you?” he asked breathlessly. There was a gentle nod and then Louis leaned in. Their lips met softly, searchingly. Louis rested his forehead against Harry’s, and they breathed, giggling softly against each other’s mouths.

“I think you should do that again,” Harry whispered. So he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 <3 <3 <3 Don't forget to leave a comment!


	15. Chapter 15

They wandered home, hand in hand, talking. Harry apologized for ignoring Louis the day before, and Louis apologized for ignoring Harry after the Halloween party. They both blushed, remembering what it was like dancing together.

“I sorta knew, then…” Harry said. “That I like you, I mean.”

“That was when I couldn’t ignore it anymore,” Louis responded. He remembered it all too well. “I came down the stairs that morning, and you were just there in the kitchen, glowing in the morning sunlight like an angel.”

Harry laughed at that. “I loved that I had your face paint in my hair that morning.” He looked over at Louis shyly. “I liked having you on me.”

Louis raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

For a moment, he forgot to breathe.

When they got home, he spotted Niall, Liam, and Zayn draped around the living room amidst a distinct smell. He groaned. “Did you really steal my good stuff?”

“Hey, Tommo,” Liam said with a sleepy smile. “Sorry. It was Niall’s idea.”

Zayn snorted. Niall had yet to stop staring at a chip.

“Well, um, I have a little announcement,” Harry said. All eyes landed on him. “Louis and I are together, and we’re having a baby.”

The noise of joy that came out of Zayn was inhuman. “A baby!” He crawled over to Harry and wrapped his arms around his legs. “Fuck, that’s great.” Harry smiled and petted Zayn’s hair. Liam pumped his fist in the air. Niall kept trying to wolf whistle and failing, eventually just singing the equivalent and lying back against the cushions in satisfaction.

“You finally figured it out,” Zayn murmured to Harry’s knees. “You two are made for each other.”

Louis should have felt so­ happy, but Harry’s words echoed in his mind and his pulse picked up. He had a boy and a baby to take care of now. They had barely just gotten started and already the odds felt stacked against them. There was just too much pressure.

“I’m gonna head upstairs and see how much damage you did to my stash,” he said grumpily and left before anyone could respond. He settled in his room, surrounded by his weird alcohol bottle decorations and dirty clothes, and wondered what the fuck he was doing. He was just a kid.

Harry appeared in the doorway a few minutes later. “Hey, I noticed somebody was pretending to be more upset about the weed than they really were. I was wondering if that person wanted to talk about what they’re really upset about.”

Louis crossed his arms over his chest. He couldn’t hide anything from Harry, apparently. With his eyes closed, he started talking. “I’m really scared that this situation is too much pressure for a new relationship. I’m scared of this blowing up. I’m also so terrified of the responsibility of taking care of a pregnant boyfriend and soon a baby. It’s just a lot, and I don’t think I can do it.” He opened his eyes. “I _really_ don’t want to mess this up.”

Harry looked thoughtful. “Hmm. You’ve already been taking care of me this whole pregnancy—and since high school, if I’m honest—so I’m pretty sure that you can keep doing that.”

Louis exhaled and smiled weakly. “I hope so.”

“We have another six months until the baby arrives to get used to being together, but it’s not like we are strangers. I _know_ you, Lou, and you know me, too.”

Louis nodded and reached out for Harry’s hand. They really did know each other, better than anyone.

Harry smiled down at Louis’ hand in his and continued. “As for money, I have a mom who is in a position to support me until we get to a different place.”

“I don’t want to be a deadbeat dad.”

“You’re going to be here for me and for the baby. That’s not what deadbeat dads do.”

“I’m gonna graduate right when the baby comes.” He was thinking out loud. “I can get a good job. I can help.”

“I know you will, Lou.” Harry grabbed his other hand and looked at him earnestly.

“I’m sorry I’m freaking out,” Louis whispered. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t want this.”

“Do you?”

“Yes! This isn’t how I would have planned it, but I want this.” Louis took a deep breath. “I never even dreamed this could happen.”

Harry’s voice was hushed. “You’re my best friend. I can’t imagine anyone I would rather do this with.”

Louis leaned in and pressed his lips against Harry’s fervently. “I want to be strong for you.”

“Being scared doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you care.”

“I do. I care so much.”

“I know. We’re in this together, now.”

“Together,” Louis echoed.

“We _are_ the dream team, after all.”

Louis laughed, recalling how they pulled off tight harmonies and pranks with equal finesse. “Of course!”

“Teams face the tough stuff together. I promise I will talk to you, even when it’s hard. Can you promise me the same?”

Louis hesitated, but Harry’s green eyes were so kind and so sure. “Okay.”

They ended up curled together under the blankets, just holding each other. Everything was easier like that. After a while of comfortable silence, Harry giggled to himself and murmured, “You called me your boyfriend.”

Louis laughed and tugged him even closer. “Oh, my bad. Are we still waiting to define the relationship?”

Harry pouted. “No.”

“Okay, that’s good to hear…,” he leaned into Harry’s ear, “_boyfriend_.”

Harry smiled so wide.

When it was time to sleep, they knew exactly how they fit together, with Harry in Louis’ arms, but now things were different. Now there was a bump where a baby was growing—their baby. Now they knew this wasn’t platonic. They knew they had pressed together, naked. They had seen each other’s hearts and knew that every touch was on purpose.

Louis buried his face in Harry’s curls and inhaled. Harry skimmed his fingers along his arm, then pulled his hand up to press his lips against it. Louis shivered at the warm brush against his skin, then froze, embarrassed. He stayed perfectly still after that, trying to memorize this feeling of holding Harry in the darkness and knowing he was his. They breathed in sync until he finally slipped away into sleep.

The next morning, he woke up with Harry in his arms. He ran his hand over exposed skin, then ever-so-lightly under his t-shirt to rest on the little bump.

Harry stirred and rolled to face Louis with half-open eyes. “Good morning, Boo Bear.”

“Good morning to you, too.” Harry pressed closer and sighed happily.

“Oh.” Louis shifted away with an intake of breath…because Harry was hard. He didn’t mean to pull back, but he didn’t know how to ignore it pressed against him, didn’t know if he even needed to now. Taking advantage of a sleepy boyfriend was not on his to-do list though, so he kept some space between their hips.

But then Harry’s mouth found his neck, and all bets were off.

~~~

Harry was only awake enough to know two things: Louis fucking Tomlinson was his boyfriend now, and Louis was fucking hot. Eyes closed, he nuzzled into Louis, inhaled the scent of his skin, then started mouthing at it. Louis caved toward him immediately, and Harry let out a little chuckle. So he liked that, then.

Sex was the one gap in his expertise on all things Louis. All these years of friendship, this was the one threshold they had never crossed. But now, they weren’t just friends.

His hand snagged Louis’ tiny waist and pulled him closer. Their hips met and Harry instinctively ground up, reveling in delicious friction, but then he stilled and opened his eyes to look at Louis. “Is this okay?”

Louis pried his teeth out of his lip to say, “Yes. More than okay,” and then they were kissing and moving together, hands and tongues exploring. It felt like they were suspended in time, in a bubble of morning light. Harry’s hand cradled Louis’ face, then his perfect bum, and god, he never thought he would be able to touch it like that. He felt Louis thickening against him and ached to touch that, too.

“Can I?” He gestured down at Louis’ boxers.

Louis swallowed. “Yeah. Can I?”

Harry’s heart was pounding like he’d never done this before. He grabbed Louis’ hand and guided it down his pants, and they moaned into each other’s mouths. Harry returned the favor and took great pleasure in the way Louis’ eyes rolled back at his touch. They lay there, trading kisses, stroking each other, and Harry could barely breathe with how wonderful and hot it all was.

Then Louis slid down the bed, rose to his knees and just_ looked_ at him. Harry felt so vulnerable, even mostly clothed, under that intent gaze. Louis hooked his fingers in the waistband of Harry’s boxers and leaned down to kiss along the sensitive skin just above it. Every single nerve in his body was screaming that this was Louis. _Louis _was touching him.

“I would really like to blow you now.”

“I would really like that, too,” Harry breathed.

Louis smirked and licked his lips, then tugged the waist band down. Harry felt the cool air hit his skin and closed his eyes, blushing, but his embarrassment was forgotten as soon as he felt Louis’ warm tongue running up his length. Louis mouthed at the head, flicked his tongue just under it, then kissed sloppily at his balls.

“Fuck, oh god, Lou that’s so—” he broke off, hands clenching in the sheets.

“Good?” Louis was smiling up at him mischievously.

“Yes!” he shouted.

“Shhh, baby, the lads don’t want to know.”

The lads be damned. Harry was on the edge of another universe as Louis kept working on him. He cried out and tugged at Louis’ hair and finally, came. Muttering nonsense about the absolute _talent_, he tugged Louis up and kissed him slowly, panting. Louis was all around him—every scent and touch and thought. He traced his finger up and down the hard cock pressed against his thigh.

Louis groaned into his mouth. “Please, baby.”

Harry started to touch him with intent, pumping up and down rhythmically, and thumbing at the slit. Louis felt so deliciously thick and heavy in his hand, and when he bucked up into him, Harry could barely think.

When Louis came, it was announced by a shiver and rough exhale. After he withdrew his hand, Louis pulled him closer and murmured, “So beautiful.”

Harry realized tears were slipping down his cheeks. He carded his sticky hand through Louis’ hair and pressed his shaking lips against his forehead. “I am so, so happy that it’s you, Lou.”

Louis dabbed at the tears with the sheet and whispered, “Me, too.”

~~~

At breakfast later, Niall gestured across the table. “Liam, pass the salt?” He paused, then looked at Louis as he added, “_Please, baby_.” Louis knocked him from the chair and had him pinned to the ground within seconds.

“You are going to apologize and never, ever do that again.”

Niall was laughing so hard his face had turned bright red. “Yes!” he yelled. “Please, baby!”

Harry was blushing furiously, but he figured he knew the only way to shut Niall up. He leaned down to kiss Louis. They moaned into each other’s mouths obnoxiously. Niall squirmed under Louis, unable to get away. “Ewww!” he screamed.

Harry broke away, dazed, but present enough to look down at Niall on the ground and ask, “So are you gonna be good or should we keep going?”

Niall and Liam got the message. 


	16. Chapter 16

That night they sat the edge of Harry’s bed and took turns calling their families, holding hands through the anxiety and joy as it came.

Anne shrieked so loudly Harry dropped the phone, then started talking about birthing classes and a baby shower. Once she had processed the grandchild bit, she said, “Wow after all this time. I can’t believe Jay was right about you two!” Under another round of questioning, she confessed they had a bet going. “I only bet against it because it seemed too good to be true that you’d end up falling in love with your best friend, but I’m so glad I was wrong. You fit so well and always have.” That one made Louis bite back a grin. It was always supposed to be them. Everyone else could see it, even when they couldn’t.

The Tomlinson family immediately decided to come visit the next weekend. Anne texted later that she would obviously be coming, too. Louis knew that with a team like their families behind them, they had nothing to worry about.

~~~

One afternoon Louis met Harry in the library and was massaging his swollen feet under the table as they both read. Grimmy paused by their table. “They both greeted him, trying to act polite. Neither of them had talked to him since that awkward phone call.

Grimmy’s eyes fell to Louis’ hands moving in his lap and widened. Louis hurried to explain. “Not what it looks like, mate. ‘m just rubbing Harry’s feet.”

Harry smiled. “Isn’t Lou great? My feet get so sore.”

Grimmy’s eyes darted between them then zeroed in on the swell of Harry’s belly, which was not concealed well in this position. “You’re pregnant?” he blurted out.

Louis grinned at Harry. “Yeah, he is, mate. We’re so excited.”

Grimmy’s eyes widened comically. He swallowed several times before saying, “Wow! Congrats.”

Louis was enjoying this just a little too much. “Thank you. Can’t wait to meet the little guy.” He leaned over to palm Harry’s belly and peck his check.

“I’m due at the end of May!” Harry supplied helpfully.

Grimmy nodded dumbly. “May.”

“Yep! Lou’s graduating so it’s actually perfect timing.”

Louis looked up Grimmy with an innocent smile. “We had just found out he was pregnant when we saw you at the Halloween party, actually!”

Grimmy looked faintly green, now. He swallowed hard. “I’ve actually gotta run. Glad I got to say hi. Bye!”

As soon as he was out of sight, Louis laughed way too loudly for the library. “Sucks to suck, Grimshaw!” he cackled.

Harry smacked him but a smile threatened to break across his face. “Shhh. You’re the worst.”

“But you love me.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get back to rubbing my feet.”

~~~

Ever since Harry had shared the story of his unfortunate erection at one of his games, Louis messed with him on purpose. He laughed at everyone’s jokes, winked with abandon, wiggled his ass, and smacked other players’ butts. He would watch Harry shifting in his seat, brow furrowed, and when the game was over, he would come running to smother him with kisses. Nothing was better than being attacked by a turned-on, slightly-needy Harry the second he stepped off the field.

As usual, when the game ended Louis had Harry pressed up against him, biting his lip, tugging at his shirt. As much as he loved kissing his radiant pregnant boyfriend in front of everyone—who could blame him for being proud—Louis wanted to do much more than they could on the pitch. “Let’s go home, Haz.”

They had the house to themselves for the first time since they got together. Liam was staying at Zayn’s—they were celebrating one week of officially dating--and Niall had flown home for the weekend. Despite all the messing around they had done, he and Harry had not gone all the way since the night they didn’t remember. They had talked about doing it the next time they were alone, and well, they were finally alone.

They showered together, kissing slowly under the water’s spray, touching every bit of skin, then stumbled to the bed.

“Tonight’s the night,” Harry whispered, nipping at his shoulder.

Louis drew patterns on the soft skin in the curve of Harry’s back. “We don’t have to do anything different just because the boys are gone.”

“It’s not like we’ve never done this before,” Harry laughed, then grew more serious. “I’m glad we waited a bit, but I’m ready now if you are.”

Louis smiled and kissed Harry softly. “I’m ready.” He cradled Harry against him with one arm. The other trailed between them, lovingly caressing the baby bump and purposely avoiding his hard cock. His hand dropped lower to rub small circles against Harry’s hole. He shivered in his arms.

Louis reached to his bedside table to tip some lube into his hand and warmed it between his fingers as he leaned down to kiss Harry, long and deep. When he pressed against his hole again, he was sure and steady. He watched Harry’s face, every twitch and gasp, felt every squirm and arch of his body. He was so beautiful.

Already, he had two fingers sliding into him, curving in search of the right spot. Harry shuddered and let out a tiny cry when he did, his hands tangling in Louis’ hair to pull him down. Their mouths were sloppy against each other, all tongue and hunger. Harry began working himself down on Louis’ fingers, whining softly, so he leaned into his ear and whispered, “Do you need more, baby?”

Harry nodded jerkily. “Yes. More.” He pushed in three fingers and marveled at the tight ring of muscles around his fingers. Harry’s palm slid down Louis’ chest, then wrapped around his aching cock. “I want you in me, Lou,” he whimpered.

Louis pressed his lips against Harry’s. “Just a little more, baby. Need to make sure it feels good for you.” He focused on stretching his fingers out, opening Harry up, then pressing against his most sensitive spot. Harry moaned brokenly into his mouth.

Finally, Louis withdrew his fingers and groped at his nightstand. Somewhere in the back of a drawer, he found a condom. He wasn’t going to repeat that foolishness, even if Harry was already pregnant. Maybe once they were tested…he shook the thought from his mind and looked down at Harry sprawled on the bed, eyes glassy and needy. His love, his lover, his Hazza. <strike></strike>

“You ready?”

“Yes. I’m going to remember this time.”

That made something primal rush through Louis. He surged toward Harry, kissing him desperately. Harry’s legs wrapped around his back and held him close as their mouths moved together. He wanted to remember this, too, every moment of it.

When the friction of their bodies together was no longer enough, Louis pulled back. With one hand guiding his own cock and the other pumping Harry’s, he started pushing into the tight heat of Harry’s body. It was overwhelming, being inside him, but he didn’t let himself get lost in it. Instead he watched him intently for any sign of discomfort, as he thrusted slowly, easing further in each time.

When he bottomed out, they both gasped. He leaned over Harry, bracketing him with his arms, to kiss him again and again and again. Soon Harry was begging for more than the gentle circling of his hips, though, so he started thrusting. He lost himself in the blissful rhythm of breaths and hips.

Suddenly, Harry pushed him away. He looked frantically for signs of distress. “Did I hurt you? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I just—” Harry was squirming out from under him. “I need to sit on your dick now.”

Oh. Louis liked the sound of that. He lay down and looked up at Harry, curls stuck to his forehead with sweat, lips bitten and swollen as he hovered for a moment then sank down around his cock. His eyes closed as he bounced, body glistening, swollen belly prominently displayed.

“Fuck, baby, you’re gorgeous.” Louis had never felt so completely turned on. He grabbed ahold of Harry’s hips as he moved and tried to memorize every detail.

Soon Harry was moaning and gasping continuously, too weak to keep the pace. Louis gripped his waist firmly and pumped up into him, prompting beautiful little spasms of pleasure to flicker across Harry’s face. “Touch yourself,” he urged.

Harry was practically vibrating now. “I’m gonna—” he broke off into a soft sob.

“Yeah? You gonna come, baby? Look so pretty when you feel good.”

Harry gave himself one more stroke and then collapsed as Louis continued to thrust into him, allowing himself to surrender. He moaned from the hot sparks of pleasure and held Harry close. He nuzzled into his curls, still panting. “I love you…so much.”

Harry’s eyes were only half open. He drew a heart on Louis’s skin with his finger and murmured, “I love you, too.”

They lay there wrapped in each other’s arms, just breathing, for a long time. Eventually Louis retrieved a damp towel to wipe up the mess. They sat wrapped in the blankets, trading kisses, and taking turns telling Harry’s bump the story of how they grew up together, how they made a baby one very odd night, and how they fell in love.

Later, Harry tugged Louis downstairs to the living room, refusing to answer any questions, and started a movie. “I think you need to see this one,” he said. Louis rolled his eyes but played along with a fond smile.

When the title card flashed on the screen, Louis pulled him closer. “I get it now.”

They watched _Mamma Mia_ twice that night. By the second time, Louis was singing along, too.

~~~

That night Harry dreamt about kissing a baby’s soft head and little hands, then Louis’ soft mouth and stubbly cheek. He dreamed of early mornings on the porch, nursing and watching the neighborhood wake up with the sun. He dreamed of school buses, bikes, dishes, and more kisses. And he woke up in Louis’ arms, thinking that he couldn’t have possibly dreamed up a better life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I really enjoyed bringing this story to life. 
> 
> Again, please leave a comment and/or kudos if you liked this story. It will really mean a lot to me. :) 
> 
> [You can find the rebloggable Tumblr post for this fic here](https://larryatendoftheday.tumblr.com/post/187985956296/mammamia).
> 
> If you wanna say thank you for this story, treat me and my editor to some coffee!  
[ME](www.ko-fi.com/tswiftisgay)  
[EDITOR](www.ko-fi.com/userkant#)


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